The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one! — Page 52

I think overall they are very fast paced, which I know cannot be helped. I appreciate getting through a given story in one episode.
I think me not having a lot to say is probably a good sign.

Hm, that’s a valid concern, thanks Hal. I wonder if someone who’s more familiar with the source material could chime in on that one. Given the cuts I’ve been making versus the original episodes, should I sometimes be keeping content in, in order to let the plot breathe a bit more? Do I have that option given the existing content?

Personally, the episodes I’ve seen where I remember the originals are vast improvements over the source material. I think, with TCW: Refocused, you will always have a trade off between having a tight focus and faster pacing or including slightly lesser quality source material to pad out the plot. I personally prefer having a faster pace, with slower parts only being character development oriented. As for whether or not more content could be included to allow the plot to breathe, I think the solution would be to decide on a case by case basis (which we have been doing pretty well with). That way we can avoid extra bloat as much as possible. That being said, that will require a little more effort on our (or at least my) part as viewers to familiarize ourselves with the source content, so we can help more with decisions on what to cut and keep. Just my thoughts on it, hope it makes sense!

I could say the same about the source material, too, though. Just evaluating it as a thing, not even as a fan edit.

I’ve got a bunch of free time right now so I’ve decided to keep my momentum up in order to tackle some of the more challenging upcoming episodes. First up now is the Rako Hardeen arc, which I’ve just reviewed and taken notes on.

What a fun arc! It’s one of the purest fun Star Wars arcs in the series, I think. Just a complete romp from beginning to end.

This arc has four episodes:

1. Obi-Wan’s death and the Coruscant prison break
2. Obi-Wan, Moralo Eval and Cad Bane being pursued on Nal Hutta
3. The Box on Serenno
4. Moralo’s plan being enacted on Naboo

I have one big choice to make, and that’s whether to release it as 2x2 episodes or 1x3 episodes, based on whether or not I include The Box episode. Points in favour of the Box are that it’s very fun and with good action. Points against are that the arc is already fun and action-packed, and that nothing that happens in the Box is vital, it simply shows some of the decision making behind the crew makeup for the job. It also has little jeopardy, since the characters are either known to survive beyond this point or new. Further, taking out The Box makes this less of an Obi-Wan solo story and more of an Anakin/Obi-Wan Ahsoka story, which I think is a slightly more valuable focus in the long run. The Box also muddies the water a little by making the plan seem less well coordinated and more ad-hoc:

• is it Eval’s plan or Dooku’s?
• Doesn’t Dooku putting Eval in danger risk destroying his own plan?
• Eval betrays Obi-Wan, which seems an unprofessional act for someone so committed to getting this mission right.
• Dooku puts Cad Bane in charge. Why overrule the existing plan? There’s even dialogue in the final episode where Cad Bane and Moralo argue about the fact that it was Moralo’s plan which Cad Bane executed for him.

So my default here will be to remove that episode, fun as it is.

The other cuts I intend to make are as follows:

• Silence a line when Rako first enters the bar about “midichlorians”.
• Otherwise play the entirety of the first episode, with Obi-Wan’s death and the Coruscant prison break
• Swipe transition from the escape from Coruscant’s airspace into Nal Hutta’s arrival, and play the vast majority of the second episode with their pursuit on Nal Hutta by various people including Anakin
• Remove from the second episode the scenes of the first ship purchased by Obi-Wan, his getting kicked out of the group, the tracker, Obi-Wan’s capture by the authorities, the destruction of the first ship, reconciliation, and the purchase of the second ship. We’ll just have Obi-Wan buy the second ship offscreen. We don’t need all that tension between Obi-Wan and Cad Bane since there’s already plenty more elsewhere, and it’s verging on TOO suspicious here.
• Assuming the above, remove The Box (except the scenes where Anakin is pissed off at the Jedi), instead transitioning from the escape from Nal Hutta into the direct planning on Naboo.
• Play most of the final episode, skipping an initial raid on a warehouse (which adds little), and ending after the assassination attempt is resolved and Anakin and Obi-Wan talk about their issues with these events, rather than playing out the full epilogue.

I think I’ll be calling this episode THE DEATH OF OBI-WAN KENOBI, which all viewers will know is untrue, so I figure its boldness will produce some good curiosity here.

I’mma go do all that!

And that’s rendering now. Should take a while as it’s my longest yet, at 55:45.

I’m really pleased with how that came out. As fun as The Box episode is, I think this way it plays as a much more focused episode that’s tighter on Obi-Wan and especially refocused on Anakin’s tension with the Jedi and his relationship with Palpatine.

I added a couple of nice touches I was pleased with too - firstly, I relocated Dooku’s Naboo base to the one he uses during other episodes, using establishing shots from Blue Shadow Virus (horrible!) and Shadow Warrior (the best JarJar episode; still horrible!).

Secondly, I added reference to Quinlan Vos as the Jedi who hunted down both Cad Bane and Moralo Eval. Whilst he doesn’t appear in my TCW:R, I thought this was a nice way to give him a nod (and inline with his canon appearances). Plus, one scene I’d hoped to include but ultimately had to cut was his fight with Cad Bane, so I think this is a way of flirting with some version of that fun scene, even though it’s not a part of TCW:R.

Really excited to share this one with you guys, it’s a great romp.

Released - S03E05 - The Death of Obi-Wan Kenobi

Comprising the Rako Hardeen arc. Details as above. Download link in the tracker spreadsheet. PM for access to the spreadsheet.

Excited to watch these last few episodes!

I haven’t watched your Umbara episode yet, but I do like the idea that Imhotep floated about trying to make Krell a “hard-line proto-Inquisitor” rather than “another mustache twirling separatist conspirator”, allowing Rex arresting him to act as a “kind of rehearsal for Order 66”. Like they said, don’t know exactly how well it would work, but I’d be interested in seeing it tried.

Excited to share them and have your feedback, Del!

I agree that I would have liked to see Krell in a modified role. I was never a big fan of the Umbara arc, mainly because I felt like Krell was too much of a cackling villain who was offensive for the sake of it. I’ve tried to reduce that as much as possible, but I found that there was a necessary balance with having him be a hardliner versus still being a legitimate foil for the main characters, so settled on making him already in league with the Separatists and reducing a lot of the more cartoonish mannerisms.

Ultimately though, the purpose of his character is to represent ‘evil order’, which is the final step on Rex’s journey learning about his relationship with orders in preparation for Order 66. And there isn’t much more material that could be used to recontextualise his character.

A little update on my current plans: I was going to refine a little more of S2 following feedback before sticking my teeth into S3, but I’ve really got the momentum up again right now so I’m veyr eager to spend that momentum on what feels more like forward progress.

So my plan is to finish S3 before returning for more polish on S1 and S2. I also noticed that my S3 is quite Ahsoka-light, so I’m going to pull her Trandoshan arc into S3. That’ll also give us a bit of necessary pacing regarding Nal Hutta, the Hutt Council, and Embo, all of which are needed in this batch of episodes because of the Maul episode I’ve placed near them. So I may do a little reordering.

I’ve got the next Maul episode (the Shadow Collective) almost done. I was thinking I’d trim the Nal Hutta content (for balance and because it’s the weakest and most redundant part of that episode) but I didn’t want to turn this into our shortest episode, and I think it’s fixed by being paced a little further from the Rako Hardeen arc. So I think I can just finish that off quickly tomorrow. The Trandoshan arc shouldn’t be far behind either, as it’s a straightforward aggregation that doesn’t need much work. And that just leaves the Onderon arc, which is a four-parter where a LOT happens but which retreads a lot of ground, so that one will definitely require a lot of careful thought.

So I’m still working my way through what you’ve put out so far and typing up my thoughts, but I did have a few thoughts I wanted to share.

Regarding your “Tales from the Clone Wars” microseries episode, I would suggest giving it an episode number that places it somewhere in/after your production season 3, since it includes Barriss and Luminara, which a) helps re-establish Barriss before we see her again at the end of your season 4, and b) has Luminara congratulating her on finishing her training as a padawan, which helps explain the lack of Luminara’s presence in the Ahsoka’s Fall arc.

Additionally, there are five episodes of the Forces of Destiny webseries that feature Clone Wars characters, mostly Anakin/Ahsoka/Padme. Specifically they show Ahsoka training to use her shoto and and her being given her longer Padawan beads. I was considering editing them into a “Tales of the Padawan/Jedi” anthology episode that I could contribute to this project and could be a suggested episode right before “The Politics of War”

Of course!!! Forces of Destiny! What a brilliant idea! I’d be happy to produce that myself or to include it if you create it, whatever works for you.

A GENTLE RESTRUCTURING

Please be aware I’ve just made a light restructuring to season three. I’ve brought forward the Trandoshan arc from its planned place in my season four, and jiggled round some of the others. There were a few good reasons for this:

1. This season needed more Ahsoka, especially some Ahsoka story regarding more than just her relationship with Lux Bonteri.
2. The Trandoshan duology is also very similar to the Younglings arc, which also appears in my season four, so it made sense to split them.
3. This gave us more padding between the earlier and later Lux episodes (all appearing in this season), where he appears a bit more mature.
4. The Rako Hardeen arc covers a few locations and characters also covered by the Maul Shadow Collective episode, so I wanted to pace them out a little. (Nal Hutta, the Hutt with glasses, Embo)

So now, season three is structured as follows:

1. s03e01 - The Politics of War (from Heroes on Both Sides) - no change
2. s03e02 - Pirates of the Outer Rim - no change in positioning, just a renaming from ‘Revival’, which is not a theme of the episode.
3. s03e03 - A Friend in Need - formerly s03e04
4. s03e04 - The Death of Obi-Wan Kenobi (from the Rako Hardeen arc) - formerly s03e05
5. s03e05 - Hunted - from the Trandoshan duology - rendering now.
6. s03e06 - Dissent on Umbara (from the Umbara arc) - formerly s03e03
7. s03e07 - The Shadow Collective (from Eminence) - rendering now.
8. s03e08/09 - The Onderon arc, which I’ll be working on later today and tomorrow, and get to you ASAP.

If you have already downloaded those episodes, you need to do the following:

• Rename ‘s03e02-Revival’ to ‘s03e02-Pirates of the Outer Rim’ (and/or wait for me to upload a new version of it with the correct title)
• Rename ‘s03e03-Dissent on Umbara’ to ‘s03e06-Dissent on Umbara’
• Rename ‘s03e04-A Friend in Need’ to ‘s03e03-A Friend in Need’
• Rename ‘s03e05-The Death of Obi-Wan Kenobi’ to ‘s03e04-The Death of Obi-Wan Kenobi’
• Await the next three episodes eagerly!

RELEASED - s03e05 - HUNTED

Comprising the Trandoshan arc.
Please be aware of the note on reordering the episodes in this season.

I made no changes to this arc beyond aggregation and the removal of Sugi. Sugi in this episode only has a single line and is seen in five shots, she’s the bounty hunter hired as a taxi service for the wookiees. Since she appears in my later s03e07 ‘The Shadow Collective’, I cut her from this mainly so we don’t see her in two very different jobs in such a short space of time.

Download links in the tracker spreadsheet, PM for access to the spreadsheet.

s03e07 The Shadow Collective is uploading now and will be available in a couple of hours.

You’re right that it’s fairly minor, I just figured I’d rather give her character a bit of time to breathe.

I had thought about including The Box as a bonus episode, but you’re right that making an extended version is the best choice. I can do that fairly easily, so I’ll consider it seriously. I don’t want to get into the habit of creating too many extended versions though, as it means making two sets of change for every one. But I’ll certainly consider it, and I’d be interested to know what elements people would like reinstated for extended episodes. I can have extended versions in my Canon or Complete Cuts, to replace existing Quality Cut episodes where viewers prefer. But I’ll only produce them once I’m sure I’ve finalised their parent version.

(Edited previous post)

RELEASED - s03e07 - The Shadow Collective

Comprising Eminence.
Please be aware of the note on reordering the episodes in this season.

I made no changes to this whatsoever, so credit myself only as ‘Presented by’.
I did think about trimming out the Nal Hutta content because I think Don Corleone Hutt is goofy, and wanted to avoid overusing Nal Hutta and Embo this season, but with the restructuring of the season I thought it best to preserve what is otherwise a fairly enjoyable scene.
Download links in the tracker spreadsheet, PM for access to the spreadsheet.

I’m now re-uploading a new version of Revival with the name changed to ‘Pirates of the Outer Rim’.

RE-RELEASED - s03e02 - PIRATES OF THE OUTER RIM

Just a new version of what was s03e02 Revival, with the name changed in the file and the video track too.

I’m now re-uploading a new version of The Return of Maul with the name changed to ‘Monsters’.

RE-RELEASED - s02e06 - MONSTERS

Just a new version of what was s02e06 The Return of Maul, with the name changed in the file and the video track too.

Onwards to the Onderon arc!

Oh and for fun I updated the spreadsheet so now it tracks how much time I’ve cut. As of today:

• I’ve produced 30 episodes
• The main version of TCW:R, my Quality Cut, is 63% complete
• I’ve released 17h11m of content
• I’ve cut 14h12m so far from the original TCW

Right then, that’s the Onderon arc reviewed. This’ll become the finale of season three, also bringing the Lux mini-arc to a close. I don’t think it’s a super strong arc, with fairly low emotional stakes for our main characters, but it does wrap up a few themes of this season, and the presence of Saw Gererra and the initial seeds of rebellion give some value, especially since we revisit Saw’s rebels in the Bad Batch.

Each episode is split from the others by a time skip, so there were a few ways to cut this, but I think thematically it works best as two sets of two episodes.

In my first episode, we’d have the Republic secretly training the rebels, up until the point where the rebels destroy the power generator and begin to win popular support. I think I’d trim out the droid attack in the jungle, the entrance to the city, and a little of the montage sequence, just to get us from training to the first (clumsy) rebel action in a bit more of a streamlined way. I’ll keep all of the training since it’s decent character work and one of the main things referenced in the Bad Batch. This’ll probably end up around 40 mins.

In my second episode, we’d have the conflict between the two kings, the popular uprising, and the separatist attack on the rebel encampment. I think the split works well here because at the start of episode three of the original quadrilogy the rebels appear much more competent. There’s not much to cut here, though I will look for a few trims because to me this episode does feel a bit slow. I’ll shuffle around the scenes of the Separatist king a little between my first and second episode, so that it’s only this episode which has the focus on the Separatist angle and the internal politics, and to remove a little redundancy. I’ll trim one scene of Hondo where we see his base, because in my chronology it’s destroyed (or under repair) at this time and I don’t want to mention that in my opening text as it’ll spoil his suprise arrival. That scene can be cut without impact though, as it’s explained in dialogue around it exactly what’s happening/happened. This’ll probably end up around 50 mins.

Delpheas said:

So I’m still working my way through what you’ve put out so far and typing up my thoughts, but I did have a few thoughts I wanted to share.

Regarding your “Tales from the Clone Wars” microseries episode, I would suggest giving it an episode number that places it somewhere in/after your production season 3, since it includes Barriss and Luminara, which a) helps re-establish Barriss before we see her again at the end of your season 4, and b) has Luminara congratulating her on finishing her training as a padawan, which helps explain the lack of Luminara’s presence in the Ahsoka’s Fall arc.

Additionally, there are five episodes of the Forces of Destiny webseries that feature Clone Wars characters, mostly Anakin/Ahsoka/Padme. Specifically they show Ahsoka training to use her shoto and and her being given her longer Padawan beads. I was considering editing them into a “Tales of the Padawan/Jedi” anthology episode that I could contribute to this project and could be a suggested episode right before “The Politics of War”

So, back to thoughts about this! (I’m having a very productive day!)

You’re quite right about my Tales, in that it formally concludes Barriss’ padawan training, meaning it really should fit somewhere between the end of my season 2 (Geonosis) and the end of my season 5 (Ahsoka’s Fall). And earlier in that timeframe feels better.

And equally, those five episodes of Forces of Destiny (5x3 mins) are great fun, and add a few nice moments which are additive to a canon run of TCW. As you suggest, they fit between seasons 2 and 3.

So here’s an idea: How about combining both my existing Tales From the Clone Wars and the Forces of Destiny shorts, into episode zero of season three, a cartoon bonus episode? I’ve always intended that the Geonosis arc’s nice trauma with the worms was a maturing point for Ahsoka and led into the costume change, so it’d be cool to have the episode immediately following it showing both Ahsoka and Barriss progressing formally in their training.

In terms of the ordering, I’m not quite sure what’d work, because you’d ideally avoid having the same character back-to-back with themselves and there’s quite a lot of Ahsoka/Padmé/Yoda in these. But perhaps something like:

• FOD11 (Teach You, I Will) - Ahsoka trains with Yoda and Anakin with her second lightsaber (which appears in other FOD episodes)
• TFTCW1 - Kit Fisto defends Mon Calamari
• FOD6 (Impostor Inside) - Ahsoka guards Padmé at her home and defends her from a shapeshifter
• TFTCW2 - Mace Windu defends Dantooine
• FOD12 (Starfighter Stunt) - Ahsoka takes Padmé flying and Padmé ends up saving them both from a droid
• TFTCW3 - Barriss and Luminara are trapped, before being rescued on Ilum by Padmé and Yoda (who arrive later so at least it’s not completely back-to-back)
• FOD4 (Padawan Path) - Ahsoka fights a robot and receives her braid from Yoda and Anakin

The last one’s a bit tricky though:

• FOD18 (Unexpected Company) - Ahsoka tags along on an Anakin/Padmé transport mission, and pretty explicitly works out that they have a secret romance.
  I’m a bit torn on this one because Forces of Destiny is such a fringe bit of SW media that most people are unlikely to have seen, and it feels a bit extreme to me that she knew for all of that time. Hm…

Interested on thoughts for this!

In “The Jedi Who Knew Too Much” when Ahsoka is leaving and Anakin says “I know what it’s like to want to leave the order.” Ahsoka responds “I know you do.” Which I always understood as her hinting that she knows why he would want to leave, hence “Unexpected Company” showing her working it out.

As for where to place it in the proposed S03E0, I like the order you’ve listed, and I honestly don’t know where it would fit. 😕

Ohhhhh that line is a real value add then if it DOES get that payoff. Good spot. You’ve got a great memory for all of this detail.

Narratively not having it though, almost gives the proposed episode a nice flow, that that episode would interrupt. Part of me wants to say maybe leave it out, despite what it might add. Idk.

EddieDean said:

Ohhhhh that line is a real value add then if it DOES get that payoff. Good spot. You’ve got a great memory for all of this detail.

Lol, TCW (and more specifically Ahsoka) is my favorite. So these things stick.