I think that Kylo idea is really good, but the camera panning back and forth on his head is a little too much for me after the third or fourth cut. If there’s another shot that can be used/constructed or even just slowing down the ones that are there, it’d probably work fine.
For the Rey/Palpatine thing I think it’s about as good as it’s gonna get.
Castle shot looks good, need to see it in motion to have a more complete opinion