The problem with leaving in “I am all the Sith!” is that Rey’s new “I’m a Jedi!” response has to specifically be to Sheevie’s “a SCAVENGER GIRL is no match for the power in me!” statement, right? (edit: just as the poster above said!) Perhaps swapping Palpatine’s lines would work. Here’s a crude mockup of that idea (forgive the unpolished audio and lack of ghosts).
Edit: Does Rey ever refer to herself as a Jedi before this? I know Luke does, but I think that’s alright. It’s just that for this to land well, I think it has to be a ‘breakthrough’ in her confidence in herself, overcoming that self-doubt (which would be undermined if she’d previously considered herself a Jedi).
That was my thought exactly. It’s the contrast between “You’re just a scavenger,” “No, I’m a Jedi” that makes it work, imo. Sort of culminates her arc across the trilogy; and it’s much more personal now too. And you know what? I don’t think she does ever call herself a Jedi specifically - but it does tie back in to what Luke says in TLJ: “I will not be the last Jedi.”
You did a good job with swapping those two lines around! We could definitely go with that if Hal wants; but I thought he expressed some distaste for the “I am all the Sith” line in theatres. What say you, Hal?