Some great discussion going on here.
I think another problem the film runs into is not showing Rey how the dark side is the “quick and easy path”. She should’ve been given more reasons why the dark side would give her the power to save her friends. For example, imagine her regular Jedi skills were failing to help protect her friends on Pasaana. Instead of thinking she killed Chewie with the dark side, imagine she used the dark side to kill some of the Knights of Ren and save her friends. I think it makes more sense if she thinks that she isn’t strong enough to protect her friends, unless she gives into that dark power. But I think the film constantly reminds Rey that the dark side will actually hurt her friends, so you end up with the situation that was described in the end, where Palpatine is just forcing her to join the dark side, and we personally haven’t seen why she would want to. At the very least it would be nice if Rey actually said she fears the dark side because of how powerful it makes her feel.
Or, maybe she has this power, the dark side is “in her nature”, but it is a risk to her friends. And the only way she can learn to control and harness that power is if she joined the Sith. I think the film already leans in this direction, but I don’t think it is ever really stated this way. It would be nice if Palpatine had actually made this a case for her joining the Sith, rather than Palpatine being like, “Bwahaha! Now you have no choice but to let me possess you!”
And that lines up well with Kylo and Palpatine both trying to use her insecurities to have her “join” them. They’re both offering her what she wants, some semblance of control. It would be nice if Rey’s conversations with these two characters could be altered to emphasize this idea. They’re both like, “join me”, but they don’t give her good reasons why, imo.
It would be interesting if you could change some of Palpatine’s lines to make it sound like if Rey kills Palpatine, she will simply take his power. Power she needs to save her friends. (But in reality, Palpatine will just use her as his new host). So, for example, you could give Palpatine new lines like this.
Palpatine: You’re too weak. Only I have the power to save them.
Then later after she agrees, instead of saying “She will take her revenge”, Palpatine could say, “She will take my power”.
I don’t think either of these things are drastic changes. And it lines up well with what Hal said earlier. With Ascendant, Rey sort of knows that some kind of transfer is happening, but she doesn’t know to what extent. These changes might actually help, because it might make it clearer that Palpatine is misleading her to believe that all that is being transferred is his powers to her. But in reality, it’s his entire spirit, which will take away Rey’s free will. Plus, I don’t think this idea invalidates either interpretations presented from Jar Jar and Sherlock.