Cap, that poster idea sounds really cool!
Hal, I don’t think English would be inappropriate. After all, English was in the the Original Trilogy before the Dark Times…before the Special Editions. I think it should be whatever is most clear for the audience; and I’m worried that a quick flash of a poster might just feel like a little Easter egg. (“Haha, look, it’s the original Star Wars poster! How fun!”) If there are multiple signs that the audience can read that say “Skywalker Lives!” it would help to make the uprising more clear.
RogueLeader, I went through the scene again, and I didn’t really notice any blasters or fighting, at least when they first arrive. There are some explosions when Poe and Zorii are on the roof, but they sort of come out of nowhere. Are the First Order bombing people who are breaking curfew? What? Before that, all I could make out were some marching stormtrooper sounds, and some demands to “Show us your identification.” In fact, it completely goes against the idea that the Civilian Fleet would show up at the end, because the whole sequence is just people cowering in fear in their homes. “They win because they make you think you’re alone.” No, Keri Russell, they win because they’ll f*cking blow you up if you’re outside after dark.
(There’s also some stormtrooper-ing after Kylo lands, but that feels like it’s on Kylo’s orders, rather than being a progression of ongoing fighting.)
And I’m not sure about a First Order announcement; I’d much rather put the emphasis on the Kijimi citizens rising up against their oppressors, than on the First Order doing more oppressing. Otherwise the theme of hope and rebellion will become lost.
I definitely don’t have the technical know-how for this, but it would be amazing if we could add some visual effects too. Like when they run into Zorii, there could be a bright flash at the top of the alley, as if an explosion went off. Or when Zorii tells them to keep low, and they run across the street, it would be cool if we could mute Finn’s quipping (“Poe Dameron: Runner of Spice! Tee hee!”) and maybe even show some blaster shots firing past them. It would be kind of a little callback to the opening of A New Hope with C-3PO and R2-D2. (Though ideally with a less-comedic tone.)