Glad you are giving it a read! Let me know what you think of the big dance number 😉
Personally, I felt like any ‘what if’ story should have to confine itself to the limitations of what could be filmed, so Leia’s part was always going to be brief. It’s a constraint, but an important one to me.
I actually have never played a Knights of the Old Republic game(!) but I’m sure the situation of dueling on a sinking ship is something that has been done so many times that it has become a trope, and none the worse for having been done again 😃.
The Finn Stormtrooper angle feels like the heart of this particular treatment to me, so it was going to be introduced as early as possible. In fact, the idea of centering the story around the hijacking of a Star Destroyer, with the ship becoming the primary location, was what drove me to work on this angle. None of the previous films have focused on the interior layout of the ships or had plotlines happen within them, so I felt it was time since they’re basically like cities in space. From a tactical perspective it’s actually quite crazy to even attempt taking such a large vessel with a force as small as the Resistance, so I’ll admit I got quite lost in that space and realized that I could devote an entire film to that and ignore the bigger story.
As for the larger story, I think a coup is almost essential for this to work; Hux vs Kylo is a drama that deserves to be brought to the fore, and Hux must prevail at least in the short term since he did so much failing in TLJ that he absolutely needs this win early on to rebuild his reputation. Hux deposing Kylo needs to happen no later than the end of act 1.
In my first versions of the story, I had Kylo suffer grievous wounds and be incapacitated for an act, but in thinking more on this I realize that Leia being so incapacitated is the logical solution. I was initially averse to it due to it being so similar to TLJ, so the best thing to do is acknowledge this event and perhaps build off of it. For example, Leia is secretly dealing with an inner wound sustained during her trials in TLJ, which leads to her passing close to death in act 1.
Finally and most importantly, there’s Rey. I’ve spent the most time wrestling with her story, trying to simplify it to its core essence. Right now, I believe that Rey’s most pressing concern must arise from the end of TLJ and her grappling with having no place in the story and being unable to let go of the past. She finds all of her value in Han, Luke, and Leia, these legends of the past to whom she’s desperately attached. When Leia’s health fails, she begins to lose the last connection she has with this past, and therefore feels like she will have no place in this story if Leia dies. She believes that Kylo is solely responsible for Leia’s condition and she will do anything to save her, even if that means turning to the Dark Side to save the ones she loves from death.
Kylo, strong enough with the Dark Side to possibly save Leia’s life, cannot do so without violating his determination to let the past die. Rey cannot let go of the past enough to overcome this dark temptation. Both of them must change, but in opposite directions. Ben must save the past, in the form of Leia’s life. Rey must bury the past, in the form of her need for a great and legendary family.
This conflict is the core of my next treatment.