I took my own stab at the dagger translation:

To darkened hearts, this blade reveals
The source of where Wayfinder dwells.
Submit to darkness, accept thine fate,
The path to open, as this blade tells.

I wanted it to sound more archaic, so I shuffled the sentence sections around a bit. I removed some articles, added “thine,”…just made it a bit more minimalist, a bit more poetic; and a bit less modern.

Also, the meter flows better to me this way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also was thinking, it might not be good to say, “You need to HATE to use the Dagger!!” Just because Daisy’s expression when holding the Dagger is more “fearful” than “hateful.” We can’t change that, so let’s not draw attention to it.

Plus, “submit to darkness, accept thine fate” foreshadows what Palpatine starts bloviating about in the finale.

Regarding RL’s three plans, I kind of favor B myself. I could see C working, but I still think we should actually see the physical Death Star ruins in a vision.

Film is a visual medium, and I’d like to show rather than tell as much as possible.
it makes it clearer to the audience if they can actually see the Death Star ruins. (Maybe whisper “Endorrrrrr…” over the clip?) Besides, wouldn’t it be more exciting to see the Death Star, rather than hear about it? A little teaser, as it were.

No matter which version is picked though, I’d love to see/hear Rey’s Throne Room yell from TLJ. I just think it’s great.

I do think that we should definitely hear whispers on Pasaana in the cave. It’s an effective way of establishing that the Dagger is magical. Plus, I like the thought that it starts small with just a few whispers to “tempt” Rey, and then it builds to the full on vision later on. It shows that she’s connecting with it, rather than just “Wait, where are these whispers coming from? Are they in her mind? What’s happening?”

Also, to help differentiate the Cave scene from the Destroyer scene, I already suggested having her eyes go yellow in the latter just before the vision. But we might also have the dagger glow a little bit? Shows that it’s magical, and that it’s activating. We might need an additional sound effect on top of the whispers to sell the glowing though.