Okay, I’ve got another one:

There once was a Jedi named Rey
Who needed help finding 'er way
Give yourself to the Sith
And the whispers we give
Will say where it is right away

For real, though, I’m provisionally of the opinion that it would work fine as long as the visuals support it - tracking in on Rey during “darkened heart,” for example, that kind of filmic language. But the proof (or disproof) of that would be in the end result. I’ll record something and let people play around with it if they want to, and we’ll know pretty quickly if it’s going to be tenable or not.

At the same time, we could try and collectively come up with something that retains a poetic/ancient tone to it but conveys the information in a literal way - the writing style of The Epic of Gilgamesh could work as inspiration, for example, as it includes a lot of verses like that.