I wanted to try extending the Rey/Finn moment, to give us more time to play with. By doing so, I thought we could also highlight even more how far away from her friends Rey is getting right now.
V1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/184g4AqJx73cGdEvEOuSMQo7mc1vIJczA/view?usp=sharing
V2: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyXHZZhkVrbW1iEaZi9tS9lGe1nPnLuw/view?usp=sharing
I really like what you did with the whispers in V2, I think it would work if they’re the same whispers she hears when she picks up the dagger on Kylo’s ship, so it would be more like she’s thinking about it, like they’re stuck in her head. It makes sense since she would’ve been talking to Finn about the vision she just had there. It also makes more sense to switch the scenes around because in this version Rey would’ve had to tell them to head to the Endor system so it makes more sense to open with this conversation.
The only nitpick i’d have is we stay on that shot if Rey for a bit too long, maybe Finn’s line could start at the tail end of the Falcon shot, and the whispers could be trimmed down a bit, here’s a quick mockup of how that could look like:
Also with this new sequence there would need to be a “jumping out of lightspeed” sound effect when they reach Endor, which shouldn’t be too hard to add since the camera already holds for a bit before the Falcon appears.