It’s hard to imagine that really working in practice from a fan editing perspective.
I get it. I swear this film is like a house of cards. Try to change one thing and the whole rest of the thing falls apart. Maybe just having Rey drop the lightsabers and collapsing after defeating Palpatine would be fine.
(Maybe it will help to remove the weirdness of the Force theme hitting its peak as Pryde gets flown through a window, maybe replace with Rey’s theme?)
Rey’s still “alive” and Finn senses her death and then the next time we cut back it’s the shot of her lifeless on the ground with her eyes open.