Reintroducing Palpatine in song would certainly be an improvement from “The dead speak!”

The navigation tower makes a certain amount of sense. I think if the changes you suggest were made, it may as well become the self-destruct button. The way it is here, they’re buying a window of time in which to open vulnerability to the fleet. It’s unclear whether other ships than the lead could take over that role. By simplifying this aspect of the plot even more I think it would make it feel dumber rather than less dumb.
It’s not my intention to remove Finn’s Force sensitivity altogether, just the awkward “OMG RAY I NEVER TOLD Y—“. He still has his conversation with Jannah, senses the nav tower change, and senses Rey’s death. There are more hints besides, and hopefully we get stories to come that capitalize on them.

I wouldn’t mind changing the line to “I will earn your family(‘s) saber,” and I think “the birth of her son at the end of her Jedi path” might work. Dunno if either are feasible with what we have at our disposal.

Darkening the color of the saber burial cloth is a good idea, I’m glad you brought that up again. I don’t know about Rey’s clothes though; it’d make more sense to me to have her wear black until that scene instead.