The 3PO stuff is hilarious. Nicely done.
You’re definitely taking it very seriously to leave the original structure in place! I think that’s great. I know if I was rewriting some of these scenes I would just slap what I liked better in without considering the structure.
Thank you!
I’m probably going to lengthen the conversation just a little bit, to accomodate the fact that the replacement ideas I’m going with require a little more explanation, but I’m trying to keep it as brief as I can while still sounding natural.
I love the new stuff with 3PO and the bowcaster! I see what you were saying about how BB-8 gets 3PO to shoot. I wonder if BB-8 could zap 3PO’s leg or something, which could make his finger squeeze the trigger.
I like your breakdown of the hangar scene.
Just to get your wheels turning, here is a version of that scene I did that doesn’t just drastically change the major points of the conversation:
Kylo Ren: Rey, I know the rest of your story.
Rey: Tell me.
Kylo: He saw what you would become. You won’t just have power, you’ll have his power. You… will kill Palpatine, and take the throne.
Rey is shocked.
Kylo: I feel the pull to the light. And you, the darkness. What Palpatine doesn’t know is that we’re a Dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one. Together, nothing will stand in our way. You know what you need to do. You know.
Rey: I do.
Luckily for you, you’re not beholden to what Kylo Ren dialogue exists out there, so you could potentially make something more interesting. One good thing about this limitation, though, is that the dialogue still feels genuine to something Kylo would really say.
Thanks! The issue I’ve got with BB-8 getting 3PO to shoot is that it has to be explained in half a sentence and not require any brain-processing-space on the part of the reader. Maybe there’s a split-level computer bank and he’s already rolled up a ramp or something, to give him the extra height. It’s contrived, but would preserve the key moment. I’m gonna keep tinkering with it.
I like your version. I try to keep my work on this project as close as an editor instead of a writer when possible, staying as close to the existing material as possible. I have a huge amount of power behind the keyboard compared to someone doing video editing. I could make Kylo Ren in the hangar scene declare that Rey should join him because he knows why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, or I could change the film’s final shot so that Rey and the Skywalker Force Ghosts all rap an answer to the old woman. But the more it strays from the original, the more its soul is changed and lost, until eventually you reach a threshold where you have to ask, “what’s the point of any of it anymore?”. So ironically, even though the whole point is to change stuff from the original, the goal is simultaneously to maintain verisimilitude to it as much as possible.
I’m a big believer in restrictions causing creativity. All my favourite films from yesteryear had to work smart and hard to pull off impressive shots and visuals, and they’re all the more breathtaking and engaging for it (to me personally). I love watching a movie and marvelling at “how did they do that?”. Modern blockbuster cinema struggles to engage me the same way, because I know the answer to how they did literally any visual or impressive oner shot or anything like that is just “they stitched it together on a computer using a large team of people.” That’s why I love fanedits so much: they’ve got such tight restrictions to work with, that when they achieve something impressive, I’m once again left marvelling at “how did they do that?”.
Edit:
That’s not to diss the work of VFX people, I should specify. One of my friends works in CGI VFX for big Hollywood productions, and his stories about the insane difficulties of doing what it is they do are fascinating to hear, and I love watching VFX breakdowns. But that’s a very different experience than sitting in the cinema seat and being baffled at how they achieved something.