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Al Bundy — Page 4

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That could present problems.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
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Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
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kapgar.com
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Who can forget the rhymes about everyguys favorite place

Where you look at a thigh and blacken an eye at the the nudie bar
Where the breasts may be fake but man can they shake at the nudie bar
Where you swear like a salior and wish you could nail her at the nudie bar
Where the girlies dance in there underpants at the nudie bar
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That was a great one.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
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Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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LOL!
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
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Where the beer is a plenty and the women are all twenty at the nudy bar
Where theres a guard at the door and theres a Kennedy on the floor at the nudy bar
Where a bucks enough to see there stuff at the nudy bar
Where you can't touch a breat but you can cave in a chest at the nudy bar
Where you drink down the shooters and unrap the hooters at the nudy bar
Where the music stinks and they water the drinks at the nudy bar
Where the beer gives you gas but the bundys kick ass at the nudy bar
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Originally posted by: motti_soL
no but still... they would be great XMAS presents.


X-mas I assume thats a futurama reference.
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XMAS as in christmas.
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
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In Futurama the Christmas holiday is only known as X-mas. Frankly I consider the term X-mas to be stupid so I found that episode hilarious. Especially the Santa bot who kills you if he thinks your naughty.

He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when your on the can
Hell hunt you down and blast your ass from hear to Pakistan
You better not breath you better not move
Your better off dead Im telling you dude
Sanata Claus is guning you down
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xmas means christmas in most english speaking countries.
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
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But highly religious people look at the use of X-Mas as a bit of sacrilege because it plays down the importance of Christ in the name. Plus, the X implies a cross which has a majority of its meaning in Easter, not Christmas.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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"How about we tell the story of the red headed Grinch that stole Al Bundys life"
"Sex keeps on getting better and better every time just as long as its never with the same women more then once"
"Me and your mother don't believe in love thats why our marriage works"
"Come in so I can beet the crap out of you"
"Thats it Peg you just one a trip to Disney fist"
"Some standards you have youd do Marcy"
"Peg you know how much I love that humoungos women"
"It is not the dress that makes you look fat its the fat that makes you fat"
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You know what I always wanted to do? This is not a joke, I'm serious about this. I'd like to install a small recorder with a loudspeaker on my front door, so when I opened it, there would be sounds of an audience, like when Al Bundy or any other sitcom character comes in, you know, "Yeeaahh!! Woooo!!". It would make me feel better, I guess...
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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How about having the gang from Cheers yell "NORM!" every time you enter regardless of if your name is Norm or not?
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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Uh... no. I'd rather listen to generic audience sounds. I'll transform my life into a sitcon, I'll put a recorder with canned laugh on my pocket, and it'll laugh every 15 seconds, and every 20 laughs I'll get one huge laugh with applauses. The only problem is I gotta make a joke every 15 seconds, just like people on sitcons do, even if I'm not in the mood for laughing.

Then on my sleep I'll giggle every 15 seconds, instead os snoring.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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I think Ricarleite has hit on a sure fire way to get admittance into any insanity ward on the planet!

Amazing! A do appluade you! Give it a try and I'll come visit you on weekends.
gtfo
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Marcy: These kids need a strong male influence
Al: What are you going to do Marcy move in

Fat women: Its because of guys like you that I don't wear shorts anymore
Al: You sure is wasn't because of the guys with the harpoons

Fat women: I will have your jobs for this
Al: Well trade our jobs for everything in your refrigerator
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Originally posted by: Skipper
I think Ricarleite has hit on a sure fire way to get admittance into any insanity ward on the planet!


My social security number ends up with a question mark. That's a code used to tell who is legally insane or not. I am.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Originally posted by: Skipper
Amazing! A do appluade you! Give it a try and I'll come visit you on weekends.

I just want to be assured that he's in restraints first.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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"Kids don't you ever leave me alone with your mother again"
"Aliens came and took my socks"
"If I can convince one kid to not marry I will be satisfied"
"In my day we had a hand on the beer, a hand on the wheel, and a hand on the girl. In my day we had more hands"
"How could you do this to me son. After all the terrible pain and suffuring I had to go through to have you concieved"
"Get down fast your grandma is shaking herself dry"
"He must be French it takes so little"
"Im a dude, a hunk, Im a hunky dude"
"From the momment she came into the shoe store I could smell trouble"
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I didn't get the "french" one.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house,
no food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie,
along with a note that said "presents or die".
Children were plotting all night in their beds,
while the wife's constant whining was splitting my head.
But daddy had money this year in the bank,
then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank.
...and all of a sudden Santa appeared,
a sneer on his face, booze in his beard.
Santa I said as he laughed merrily,
you do so much for others do something for me.
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes,
your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze.
Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife,
her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife.
As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue.
And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee:
you're married with children, you'll never be free.
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"Bud we still love you we just love your sister more"
"Peg if you weren't my wife id kiss you"
"You think your cursed"
"I confess to the killing of a bunch of people and eating them"
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Jefferson "You could knock her out and stuff her in sack"
Al "Where am I going to get a sack"

Fat Women "You don't understand the gravity of this situtation"
Al "Isn't gravit working hard enough right now"