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Post #1413575

Author
CaptainFaraday
Parent topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit (WIP)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1413575/action/topic#1413575
Date created
28-Feb-2021, 1:04 AM

That’s great! Definitely an improvement, I’ll add it in if that’s alright. I was worried that it would overcomplicate the core idea being conveyed, but it just strengthens it. And that final line is fantastic as a result; the final line I’d written was the part I was least happy with, too.