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Post #1409553

Author
CaptainFaraday
Parent topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit (WIP)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1409553/action/topic#1409553
Date created
10-Feb-2021, 9:56 PM

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Here is the passage from the original novelization:
"The Eye cocked its head, making an eerie squealing noise. It took a moment for Kylo to realize the creature was laughing at him. “No need for that,” the Eye said. “Do you really think my lord would have left it in the guardianship of one who could be swayed by a trick of the Force?”

No, he supposed not.

“You’ve been seeking it for a while, yes? I must warn you, our fiery planet burns away deception. If you proceed down this path, you will encounter your true self.”’

I think the text could do a better job than it currently does at conveying the raft of things we just discussed. I’m not suggesting I explain the subtext (I’m removing a lot of subtext-being-explained from other parts of the book), but if I keep it in and add the other elements later to support it, I think I’d rewrite their whole interaction to convey that core idea.

I still worry it would slow down the opening section too much, which is already long as it is. And truncating it might make the interaction itself feel too fast. It would be a balancing act, if we go that route.