Spuffure… as others have said in here over some time now, reach out and get some help. If talking to friends or family is not possible… then try a counsellor, therapist, or other medical professional.

Meanwhile, read Malthus’ (and others in here) sound advice above again.

Positive waves coming your way Spuffure. Though having a chat with someone… a professional in a position to be of help to you, will help. Don’t put it off, don’t make an excuse - or say to yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, or next week, or whenever (as so many of us do) - do it today; now. After all, it is only a talk - it is what you are doing on here now - but it will be with someone who may very likely be able help you.