The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one! — Page 33

Some good thoughts there Artan, cheers.

Not sure I see the issue with “heck” vs “hell” - Star Wars has always had odd real-world expletives so this never felt out of place for me, unless there’s something I’m missing?

Interesting take on Clone Cadets. Do you not feel that it’s necessary to focus us on our main characters and give a little extra context? Even without the Echo/Fives/Hevy setup, it feels necessary to set up 99/bad batchers, does it not? Interested to see if there’s a community consensus on this.

Agreed on the comments about Rookies/ARC Troopers though, I’ll revisit that when I come to polish it.

RogueLeader said:

Does it have to just be a two-week time span? Perhaps some of those lines would make more sense if they have been there longer, like three to six months at least. Or maybe even TWO MONTHS LATER.

The thing this has to balance against is that Anakin’s been actively pursuing Grievous throughout this time, without Ahsoka. I think a couple of weeks is enough to get the Rookies established on a listening post, whilst for Anakin and Obi-Wan this pursuit is only just at the extreme end of going on too long as a strategic priority. That’s where I’m at mentally for now, anyway.

Right, s01e06 - CHILDREN OF DATHOMIR is rendering now (productive day today!), though it might take a few hours to upload so it might be morning UK time before I have it available for you all. I’m calling this one a RELEASE version rather than a REVIEW version because I don’t think there’s anything unfinished barring tweaks from feedback.

I picked the name because the focal characters are Ventress and Savage plus the hint of the ‘lost’ child Maul. Though I could maybe have swung for a name that highlights that it’s about five different kinds of bad guy all hating each other. I think this one emphasises their relationships a bit more though.

It’s a long episode though - 61 minutes including credits. I’m interested to know how you guys feel when you watch it - obviously normal movie length could be double that, but for a TV episode it may feel like an endurance task. I think it’s well paced though, so it might just whip by. I think it’s likely that some of the later four episode arcs I might cut down into two parts each, and there is a decent enough split point at about 30 mins in, so it’s possible. But I’ll base that on your feedback.

I’ve kept Katuunko in after your early feedback on my idea, since it’s not an egregious appearance, and this way I don’t have to explain why Anakin and Obi-Wan have a new ship.

I’ve taken a fair amount out of the trials in Monster. Originally it had three trials, which were quite boring. I’ve trimmed the whole thing to entirely focus on Savage and Feral. Now, Ventress only selects that pair (after being obviously pissed off with many of the others - in my headcanon it’s because Savage is the obvious choice, and because she wants to use the bond with Feral to break him.) She chooses them, and we cut straight into what was the third task (after the others had all been eliminated, originally), where Feral struggles, and Savage submits, though not before showing his might.

The rest is just polish and trims to keep it smooth.

** EDIT: THE FOLLOWING TEXT IS NOW OUT OF DATE, IT REPRESENTS AN EARLIER INTENTION**
This episode, bear in mind, is the last of my (production) season one, which I intend to be the mission statement for the show. I’d like these six to be what you’d recommend someone watch in order to get a feel for the show and decide whether you want to stick with it. Six episodes to tell the new viewer what TCW is, and also six episodes to tell the existing viewer what TCW:Refocused is. I’d be very interested in feedback that considers the six as a whole, and what it tells you about the show moving forward.

s01e06 - CHILDREN OF DATHOMIR - RELEASED

Covering the Nightsisters arc - Nightsister, Monster, and Witches of the Mist.

That’s v1.0 up now. Notes just above.

Knight of Kalee said:

I just watched option 2 of the Domino episode. I think it works better in the story department, but the option 1 felt marginally better polished for me, mostly because of technical/continuity issues. For example, during the test both Echo and Droid Bait are shot but immediately after there are four clones left standing.

Looking forward to the Nighsisters cut and glad to see you kept the Toydarians

I did think there was a chance this could get picked up on, but I figured that the first time viewer isn’t going to be tracking this. Besides, in this version of the test, maybe getting shot is just points against rather than knockouts? Droidbait gets actually injured by mistake, but who’s to say Echo can’t get back up during a test? I don’t know, it’s a bit fuzzy, but I’d be interested to know what people think versus the original longer version.

Excited to watch this. And I’m very curious to see what you’re gonna do with the 03 Clone Wars stuff. Since that series is so tonally different and VERY action focused, which is fine for 3-5-15 min shorts, but is grating when edited together and most edits I’ve seen do nothing to trim the action. Or the awful AotC-esque Anakin/Obi-Wan “bickering”.

Personally I think the only relevant bits are the Ventress fight, the first appearance of Grevious, and Anakin’s Knighting. (And maybe the Anakin/Padme rendezvous right before, where 3PO’s gold plate is revealed, but only if you get rid of the sexy music)

Anywho, it might be a bit before I actually watch any of these eps since my wife and I just got into S5 for her first viewing.

Hey Del! I’ll actually pick up editing this episode tomorrow.

The plan for Tartakovsky is basically as you say in terms of content. I’m not sure if I need the Nelvaan or Coruscant arcs, but my plan is to present a trimmed version of the Hypori and Muunilinst storylines as our episode zero. So that’d cover Muunilinst except for Durge (you’d just have the clones win that fight), with Anakin pursuing Ventress off to Yavin, and you’d have Hypori to introduce Grievous and bring that whole chapter to a close. I might include a little of Ilium, and Grievous training under Dooku. Then Anakin gets knighted and flies off into space.

I’ll trim things that aren’t vital to the story, but it’s Tartakovsky, so while it isn’t the tone I’m going for, it is super charming, so I don’t really want to meddle with his tone. So I will keep Anakin/Obi-Wan banter, and if I was including the sexy C-3PO scene I’d keep the sexy music. Though I don’t think I’ll need that.

I’m presenting it as episode zero rather than one, to emphasise that it’s an optional prologue.

That’s fair. Though the Anakin/Obi-wan bickering to me isn’t a Tartakovsky thing, so much as the team trying to stay close to the only Anakin/Obi-Wan content they had up to then, which was Anakin always whining about Kenobi and Kenobi always calling him “very young” and immature, etc… which even in AotC is grating.

My thoight is if the point is to end with the Knighting, then trimming the whiny banter would imo be helpful for ensuring believability when Obi-Wan suggests Anakin is ready to graduate. Cus if the only interactions they have up to that point are Obi-Wan telling Anikan to do stuff, and him ignoring Obi-Wan or whining about it, the viewer will wonder where Obi-wan got the idea that Anakin was ready. Just my two cents. 😃

Hm, OK, that’s worth a thought. I’ll be mindful of it when I work through the episode, then. I don’t want to take away any Tartakovskiness but I don’t mind trimming for continuity. Thanks for raising it!

I don’t know if you all have moved on from the title sequence, but I feel that the Clone Wars logo should cut in instead of fade in; it seems like that’d fit the shift in the music a bit better. Everything else in there is perfect though!

That’s now fixed!

Octorox said:

Do you plan to do anything about the fact that Grievous is basically a completely different character in the Tartakovsky Clone Wars? NumeralJoker1 was able to redub him entirely with Matt Wood lines in the Coruscant arc but I imagine that would be a bit harder for the rest. He’s also all-around more competent and fearsome in Tartakovsky’s series in a way that doesn’t gel with his portrayal in Clone Wars or Revenge of the Sith, where his primary character traits are checks notes moustache-twirling and running away from fights.

Battlefront II has a ton of lines for him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9p_S9wzd4k

Not really, to be honest. Tartakovsky’s gonna Tartakovsk, so I always intended to leave that as its own piece of fun. Definitely for the first pass, I only intend to trim it so that its story elements give the (optionally) necessary backstory for this show. Maybe a second pass will consider that, but to be honest, it’s unlikely within the scope of this project.

That said, I really do need to convey sometime quite how easy editing is, so you guys feel empowered to make these kind of tweaks.

Thanks Kalee, glad that worked for you. I assume you still had the popping sounds? And yeah, I’m not happy with the outro music there. The difficulty was that the existing music was in a minor key whilst my outro is major, so there was just no good blend point (with my limited skills), so I just had to switch to the outro early. It’s something I’ll chat with McFibb about but I don’t want to make him any more work. There might be something I can do if I have time to play around.

That’d be lovely. I’ll wait until we have the main outro finalised then get in touch!

Question: If S01E06 has everyone with their new ‘ROTS’ outifts, we are going to chronologically see them revert back to their old outfits in for example, the Geonosis episode. Is there a way this will be adressed. I’m loving what’s going on so far.