I’ve been playing around with Rogue One with my own edit and I like it, but rethinking some changes based on your V2 and waiting for V3. Rogue One does not really need many drastic change asides from some clean up/removal of unnecessary things. (Cameos and reduction of whiplash at the beginning of the film)
Although your edit is fine as is, minus the clean up for V3, a simple but neat thing from some of RogueLeader’s idea (and buddies liked this) is about trust with the removal of Cassian and Draven’s conversation about “killing Galen” on his mission. By having that conversation removed and you just see them talking, it really adds more weight to Jynn’s comment about Trust going both ways and helps the audience stay in the same boat as Jynn, not knowing or seeing everything yet.
Granted the audience will get to know about the killing orders before she does, we get to stay in the boat of “the unknown” with Jynn. What was the conversation about? Who is the pilot? Is the Pilot really “on their side?”