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I had a dream somebody loved me. Then I woke up.
Is it me or has 2020 just been the year that keeps on violently combusting? Seriously hoping 2021 is at least somewhat better.
It’s been like that for me and still going well into 2021.
On another note, Spuffre really needs some mental help. I know life sucks I don’t want anyone else living through that.
Yep. The Capitol riots. What a bunch of fucking babies.
I’ll get there someday.
When’s something gonna happen?
I had a dream somebody loved me. Then I woke up.
In the same day, I managed to get trapped in indecision twice, once without my medication and once with. Not even the same decision. I think might have a solution to the second one. What do I draw or work on in general? I’ll just rotate. Pick a random project for the day, then move on to the next. Not sure if it’ll work but it’s worth a shot. It’s frustrating not feeling passionate about anything at all.
In the same day, I managed to get trapped in indecision twice, once without my medication and once with. Not even the same decision. I think might have a solution to the second one. What do I draw or work on in general? I’ll just rotate. Pick a random project for the day, then move on to the next. Not sure if it’ll work but it’s worth a shot. It’s frustrating not feeling passionate about anything at all.
You’re best to keep yourself busy. I hope this isn’t TMI but To be quite honest with you, i’m stuck in a rut right now. I have a back issue since i was 18, im 26 now and it’s still as bad as ever, i had years where i had procedures done and i felt relief for several months, but now because of my medication i have put on so much weight that it’s sad to look in the mirror, so i haven’t looked in the mirror in a year, the week before christmas was the lowest i ever felt, i have never been driven to ‘let go’ if you know what i mean, but the week before christmas i was nearly fully checked out and ready to let go, but if i could tell past self something, it would be to keep moving, keep busy, remember the things i love and try to stay on GO mode.
That’s what my meds do. If I don’t take them I just slouch around on Discord all day or something. When I take them, I have the drive to actually do something. The problem I ran into today was not knowing what I wanted to put that drive into. I have the energy but nowhere to direct it. I haven’t felt truly passionate about any of my projects for a long time, and it’s killing me. Without a project to occupy me I don’t know what to do with my life. Plus, I didn’t register for any classes this semester mainly because of how unwell I’m feeling emotionally, so I have all the time in the world but nothing to do with it. I don’t dare to commit to something without my heart being in it in both classes and personal projects, so now I’m stuck running in circles. I just can’t seem to hone in on one, maybe two particular projets to work on. I guess I did start that music video. I should finish that. Regardless, I feel so apathetic to everything even with my meds giving me the motivation I don’t feel comfortable taking on a task that should be for my own pleasure knowing I’m faking it.
That’s what my meds do. If I don’t take them I just slouch around on Discord all day or something. When I take them, I have the drive to actually do something. The problem I ran into today was not knowing what I wanted to put that drive into. I have the energy but nowhere to direct it. I haven’t felt truly passionate about any of my projects for a long time, and it’s killing me. Without a project to occupy me I don’t know what to do with my life. Plus, I didn’t register for any classes this semester mainly because of how unwell I’m feeling emotionally, so I have all the time in the world but nothing to do with it. I don’t dare to commit to something without my heart being in it in both classes and personal projects, so now I’m stuck running in circles. I just can’t seem to hone in on one, maybe two particular projets to work on. I guess I did start that music video. I should finish that. Regardless, I feel so apathetic to everything even with my meds giving me the motivation I don’t feel comfortable taking on a task that should be for my own pleasure knowing I’m faking it.
It’s none of my business to know what meds you are on, i wouldn’t want to impede on your privacy, but relatively speaking are the medication for pain or would they be along the lines of an antidepressant?
I’m not sure what country you live in, but i think you should express this to your doctor, because either way medication shouldn’t be able to swerve you one way or the other and it be looked at in a positive light.
My medication is solely concentration related. I don’t want to take antidepressants if I can avoid it. Honestly, I think it does a good job. The only thing it does is make me feel more productive. Maybe a little more stressed, but as my account detailed, that can happen without it too.
A close friend just ghosted me. Through a mutual I was able to get some confirmation and closure. They clearly don’t want me in their life anymore. And to think we were so close just a month ago. Damn, just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse.
It just means that they don’t deserve you
I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe.
Star Wars has 3 eras: The eras are 1977-1983(pre Expanded Universe), (1983-2014) expanded universe, or (2014- now) Disney-bought version. Each are valid.
Important voice tool:
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1472151/action/topic#1472151
I agree. It’s none of my business, but if they didn’t bother to tell you themselves why they were ignoring you, that straight up just reflects badly on them. Hang in there Ani - it won’t always be like this. I hope things start looking up for you soon.
“Remember, the Force will be with you. Always.”
Update: They responded to me in DMs. We just exchanged a little small talk, nothing more, but they seem to still care. They’re the total opposite of a heartless person so I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them like you guys are you doing, but I get where you’re coming from not knowing all the details. It was really a political thing.
You know what the most frustrating feeling is? Making a mistake without learning from it. Like, you know you did something wrong, but you can’t figure out what it is no matter how hard you try.
I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE HAVE TO WHINGE ABOUT MODERN POP MUSIC AND SAY MUSIC WAS BETTER IN THE OLD DAYS WITH THAT DECLINIST ATTITUDE I GET IT YOU DON’T LIKE IT BUT STOP WITH THE LE WRONG GENERATION SHIT YOU KNOW IF YOU WERE BORN IN THAT TIME YOU’D HATE IT AND TODAY YOU CAN LISTEN TO ANYTHING SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOU LIKE HALFWIT
AND DONT DARE SAY YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE MAJORITY BECAUSE OF YOUR RELIGION LIKE SERIOUSLY YOU STUPID BASTARD
I used to be like this. Don’t be like past me.
When’s something gonna happen?
Yesterday I accidentally missed my therapy by taking a nap. Hn
I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe.
Star Wars has 3 eras: The eras are 1977-1983(pre Expanded Universe), (1983-2014) expanded universe, or (2014- now) Disney-bought version. Each are valid.
Important voice tool:
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1472151/action/topic#1472151
Yesterday I accidentally missed my therapy by taking a nap. Hn
But did you enjoy your nap?
“Remember, the Force will be with you. Always.”
Yesterday I accidentally missed my therapy by taking a nap. Hn
But did you enjoy your nap?
Oh yes
I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe.
Star Wars has 3 eras: The eras are 1977-1983(pre Expanded Universe), (1983-2014) expanded universe, or (2014- now) Disney-bought version. Each are valid.
Important voice tool:
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1472151/action/topic#1472151
I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE HAVE TO WHINGE ABOUT MODERN POP MUSIC AND SAY MUSIC WAS BETTER IN THE OLD DAYS
But it did get worse. In the 80s mainstream music was this cool rock and synthwave stuff. Now mainstream music is hip hop, and I hate hip hop. Of course if you look past the mainstream there isn’t any significant difference, but pop music was genuinely much better before I was born.
Oh and easy on the caps lock, buddy.
Modern mainstream music is absolutely not just hip hop. There are more genres and broad access to them than ever before. And ironically, the aural synthwave aesthetic from the 80s has come back into vogue in pop with the likes of The Weeknd, Dua Lipa, Bleachers, 5SOS, etc. And it’s not like Daft Punk has become any less relevant.
The idea that hip hop has some sort of monopoly on popular music nowadays is laughable to me. Especially when you’ve got the whitest bread Shawn Mendes, Billie Eilish, Harry Styles, or Taylor Swift topping charts. If anything, things have dominantly gotten very alternative. Even the rap scene has trended in that direction with production moving with the influence of Ludwig Gorranson’s Gambino work.
Hip hop as a whole isn’t even inherently bad. I’m sure there’s stuff within that vast umbrella that you could probably like.
Especially when you’ve got the whitest bread Shawn Mendes, Billie Eilish, Harry Styles, or Taylor Swift topping charts
Just because it isn’t hip hop doesn’t mean I like it. I’m just saying pop in general kinda sucks now. It’s not without the occasional hit but a lot of it is just crap.
Hip hop as a whole isn’t even inherently bad. I’m sure there’s stuff within that vast umbrella that you could probably like.
Here’s the rap I do like. As you can tell, it’s not very hip hoppy. I can’t stand those drum metronomes and that raspy, dry delivery.
Idk, it’s just odd to me that you feel you can make such a broad statement. Now more than ever, is a vast multitude of sounds and influences becoming popular at the same times. There’s more access to music than ever before that I’d even say that there’s no such thing as a Mainstream. At the very least, musical trends in the way they have manifested before have fallen off in favor of diversity. BTS isn’t massive for the same reason the Eilish siblings are, or Ed Sheeran, or the Weeknd. All the One Direction boys have very different musical careers and niches.
Not that you have to like all of it - I certainly don’t and am just trying to use identifiable examples - but there’s less commonalities between all the music that gets radio time than there was in, like, 2008. Our generation were the ones who said We Were In The Wrong Generation then, and now we’re the audience being catered to and actually making the music for the charts.
It also looks like you’d absolutely enjoy way more rap music than like the 10 songs you listen to. You clearly just don’t reach out of your comfort zone enough. At least enough to realize what you really dislike is Trap and/or Mumble Rap
Modern mainstream music is absolutely not just hip hop. There are more genres and broad access to them than ever before. And ironically, the aural synthwave aesthetic from the 80s has come back into vogue in pop with the likes of The Weeknd, Dua Lipa, Bleachers, 5SOS, etc. And it’s not like Daft Punk has become any less relevant.
The idea that hip hop has some sort of monopoly on popular music nowadays is laughable to me. Especially when you’ve got the whitest bread Shawn Mendes, Billie Eilish, Harry Styles, or Taylor Swift topping charts. If anything, things have dominantly gotten very alternative. Even the rap scene has trended in that direction with production moving with the influence of Ludwig Gorranson’s Gambino work.
Hip hop as a whole isn’t even inherently bad. I’m sure there’s stuff within that vast umbrella that you could probably like.
Correct. There’s still great stuff like King Gizzard.
I do agree that at least 20% of modern pop is bad, but what I REALLY hate are wrong generation douchebags. The 21st century is the best century in modern history and anyone who says otherwise needs a history class.
And like I said, certain religious nut jobs who think they are the chosen 00.1% because of their obscure “religion”. Again, I used to be like this.
When’s something gonna happen?
King Gizzard rules
The 21st century is the best century in modern history and anyone who says otherwise needs a history class.
This depends vastly on your criteria. I’d say it has its benefits, but it’s got a lot working against it too…
the Eilish siblings
I FUCKING HATE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS SOOOOO FUCKING MUCH
When’s something gonna happen?