Poes reaction in TLJ was completely justified, and a result of poor leadership.
You think someone in the military can just refuse to obey orders unless someone walks them through the plan and gets their approval? How would Patton have reacted to Poe?
Holdo was justified in keeping the plan to her immediate staff. As soon as Poe heard it and blabbed it over the radio, DJ used the information to cut a deal with the First Order that resulted in many deaths.
Poe didn’t respect authority and a leader needs to learn this before they are ready to command.