Noted, thanks guys. Knight, I agree on the music. I definitely want there to be ONE closing theme tune, ideally Clones (Sad). My hope is that so long as it starts on the right note it’ll merge with whatever tracks used to lead into the original ending theme, and that McFibb can wizard it up. I’ve got a lot of faith in him, so let’s see how it goes!
Noted, thanks guys. Knight, I agree on the music. I definitely want there to be ONE closing theme tune, ideally Clones (Sad). My hope is that so long as it starts on the right note it’ll merge with whatever tracks used to lead into the original ending theme, and that McFibb can wizard it up. I’ve got a lot of faith in him, so let’s see how it goes!
If it works, I’ll take all the credit, if not, can I blame it on the prequels? 😉
Deal!
So, since I’m still working on my source for S01E01, I’ve started on S01E04, the Malevolence arc. This was always one of my least favourites, but I’m really glad you guys encouraged me to keep it because I’m really pleased with the rough cut so far.
Essentially I’m intercutting the first and second episodes.
Grievous has the Malevolence, and has destroyed many clone medical stations, and is currently doing that in the Abregado/Rendellia/Naboo area. Obi-Wan is coordinating evacuations, while Anakin and Ahsoka are involved in the hunt. Plo has been sent to Abregado whose medical station has sent out a distress signal.
We begin in media res, Plo evidently having arrived to find a debris field, with our first shots being the destruction of Plo’s powerless ship by Grievous. The Malevolence launches pod killers then immediately jumps to hyperspace, towards the next station. As the pod killers try to kill Plo, and Anakin and Ahsoka search for Plo, we intercut with scenes of the medical stations slowly trying to evacuate, Obi-Wan showing concern in a few conversations, and Grievous travelling - first to a convoy route where he destroys a medical transport (but not before it gets a signal out which tips the Republic off), and then going the slow way around the nebula towards the Rendellia medical base - but with a huge head start.
After Ahsoka and Anakin save Plo, Yularen tells them that he’s learned of the convoy route attack and they realise he’s heading to Rendellia. Anakin formulates the bomber plan and they jump through the ‘short cut’ - though showing none of the nebula (we assume size of the ship matters for this hyperspace jump or whatever). They arrive, and I’ve cut it so that Grievous’ bloodlust in trying to destroy the medical station before turning his attention to the incoming bombers is what allows them to get close enough.
I’m not going to show the ion cannon firing at all during this episode, though its effects will be seen - I don’t like the visual effect, and this way it retains some mystery - though I have a lot of opportunities to show how savage the Malevolence is. Ultimately, the bombers target the ion cannon, Grievous attempts to fire it, the Malevolence starts to explode, Grievous evacuates, and one “fire everything” from Obi-Wan later (from the third, mostly unused episode) and it’s job done.
In my rough cut it feels far stronger, and with far higher stakes. It also feels right coming after Cloak of Darkness, because this is the start of Anakin and Ahsoka becoming friends, and I liked him pawning her off on Luminara at first.
The five minute edit of Lair of Grievous is neat, and coherent enough (aside from Grievous having no legs in that one shot haha), but I wouldn’t put it on the end of Cloak of Darkness. It doesn’t add much besides, well, getting to see the Lair of Grievous - and him actually succeeding in killing a Jedi for once - so I don’t think it’s worth the hassle to shoehorn it in. I’d vote to save it for the Complete Cut.
Plus, the Jedi he kills is a fresh knight who seems really naive, it’s hardly a really competent threat that emphasises his skill. I know that the show needed recurring villains, which means them losing a fair amount, but I think Grievous especially came off pretty poorly, he seems to only lose. I’ll do all I can to make him as badass as possible in this show.
@EddieDean – I know the show changes tonally midway through. Is that true of episode endings too? That is to say, do some episodes end with, “And everything is well and good, yay for adventures!” and others with, “Holy crap. What just happened? Noooo!!” and others with “Uh oh. That’s not good.”?
Impacts my music choices. 😃
@EddieDean – I know the show changes tonally midway through. Is that true of episode endings too? That is to say, do some episodes end with, “And everything is well and good, yay for adventures!” and others with, “Holy crap. What just happened? Noooo!!” and others with “Uh oh. That’s not good.”?
Impacts my music choices. 😃
There are many cliffhanger-type episodes from season 3 onwards, and accordingly some of the ending music themes are pretty dramatic, like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLaCe45e5m4
That’s what I thought. I’m working on a version that should be able to cover the spectrum of emotion, making it a little longer so that @EddieDean has the freedom to pick entry/exit points accordingly, merging the different “movements” as needed.
Should have a draft by tomorrow evening ready for review!
Extremely exciting!
Alright. Judgment time. Here’s a prelim cut. It’s rough around the edges and needs some additional instrumentation to get it sitting right, but I think all the components we’re looking for are there: emotion, contemplation, reflection, nostalgia, melancholy, resolve, etc. Having never seen TCW, my hope is that this is reflective of the entire viewing experience, of which I’ve gathered bits and pieces from this thread.
All feedback is welcome. And keep in mind, this runs on the long end so that @EddieDean can cut and merge different musical motifs for the different episode endings. The whole piece of music should work as a single composition, but slicing and dicing will work too, so long as the cuts/cross-fades are decent.
For context, all the music up until 00:44 would be behind the last bit of dialogue/end of the episode (if it ends neutrally or happy), at which point, we cut to black and credits roll.
Here’s the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/12jLhNAYepIVsJ3W5kOgqa3WZsEKwkWKy/view?usp=sharing
Also, HUGE thanks to Samuel Kim on YouTube. This massive remix wouldn’t be possible without his phenomenal arrangements!
I just watched 1.01 - Christophsis. Really, really nice job! A couple of observations I had while watching:
I love the atmosphere of the music starting, and then the video coming in a little later.
At 2:05 the sound transition is a tad noticeable. Maybe you could erase a bit of the sweeping shot of the room, then cut to after Obi-Wan’s initial strike, and do an L-cut on the audio. There’s a moment here where Obi-Wan sort of gears up to do a large swing, which might make for a good “joining the battle” kind of move.
Alternatively, you could just cut directly from the initial break to the close-up shots with the three of them. That might help to hide the fact that Anakin and Ventress are on the steps, snap to the ground level, and then are back on the steps.
The music starts to drown out Ventress as she says “We’re about to take control of this world.” (Although, the editing here is pretty much seamless with the transition, so I’m genuinely not sure if it was like that in the original episode.)
Maybe the Bail Bombing should be right after Anakin and Obi-Wan escape Ventress and she says “Prepare to march.”? That way it gives a little extra time for the two of them to get back to base, and it directly connects Bail’s “Get me General Kenobi” with his message to the Jedi.
I love how you connected the Bail segments to the ground assault segments. It took me a few minutes to realize those were even from separate episodes.
I’m getting some slight stuttering at 4:38, and one frame at 5:08…annnd a little at 5:17. Just every so often throughout, actually. Is it just me?
The transition back to the battle at 5:24 feels just a hair rushed. Is there any extra time in the shot of the Admiral, that it could linger on him a smidge longer?
Overall, fantastic job toning down Ahsoka in the episode. One thing though, you could probably cut out the bit about “Do we still need this thing? I can’t take it anymore. I have to stand up.” by cutting directly from Anakin’s line to them lifting off the crate. That line makes her go from peppy to whiny, imo. Maybe even swapping Anakin’s “We have a ways to go.” so that it comes before Ahsoka’s “I think we made it past them!” That also tracks better with Anakin letting her stand up, and then hitting the droideka.
It feels weird to me that Obi-Wan surrenders without a plan. Maybe it could work if you cut from him standing in attack formation, to the close up of him, to the shot of the droids? That might imply that he’s overpowered by them, and thus being held by them in the next shot.
Great job timing Bail thanking Anakin with Anakin turning his head!
When Anakin talks to Yoda about Ahsoka, maybe it could be structured like this: Yoda says “Trouble with your new Padawan” > Obi-Wan says “I was explaining to Yoda about the situation.” > Anakin: “Really?” > Ahsoka glances at Anakin, Anakin looks at her (shots moved from before Obi-Wan’s line) > Yoda: “Perhaps we can…” and the scene continues. I feel like it will have more emotional weight if Ahsoka and Anakin share a glance as he’s deciding whether to accept her, rather than “Oh no, even Yoda’s talking about us.”
Overall, really great job blending the three episodes together, and especially with making Ahsoka less annoying! I didn’t even notice the lack of "Sky Guy"s. Other than the nitpicky stuff above, my only “large change” suggestion might be to cut the opening with Ventress altogether, and just open with the bombing on Bail. Her stuff doesn’t really matter to the rest of the plot, and she talks about “her loyal informant” as if that person matters in your edit.
End Credits
WOW. I am absolutely floored by this. It’s sweeping, it’s epic, it’s meditative, it’s exciting, it’s familiar, it’s new. Absolutely incredible, McFibb. I love the hints at the Star Wars theme (which ties us back to the OT), and Duel of the Fates (which always says “Maul”.) This song feels like the fabric of The Clone Wars. Both the show, and the period within Star Wars. Really, really, really impressive.
I need to check it in context but I’m sure it hits the notes we need.
What a gorgeous piece of work. You’ve got an extreme talent, McFibb - especially since you haven’t seen most of TCW.
Yay! More Christophsis feedback! I needed some, so this is appreciated.
I love the atmosphere of the music starting, and then the video coming in a little later.
Yeah, I thought that worked quite nicely. Obviously it’ll open after the credits, but I’ll let the music play first, a lot like it is now.
At 2:05 the sound transition is a tad noticeable. Maybe you could erase a bit of the sweeping shot of the room, then cut to after Obi-Wan’s initial strike, and do an L-cut on the audio. There’s a moment here where Obi-Wan sort of gears up to do a large swing, which might make for a good “joining the battle” kind of move.
Alternatively, you could just cut directly from the initial break to the close-up shots with the three of them. That might help to hide the fact that Anakin and Ventress are on the steps, snap to the ground level, and then are back on the steps.
The music starts to drown out Ventress as she says “We’re about to take control of this world.” (Although, the editing here is pretty much seamless with the transition, so I’m genuinely not sure if it was like that in the original episode.)
Agreed, I think I need to polish the Ventress section a little. Right now it’s “all of it” but I think it needs a bit of flow touch.
Maybe the Bail Bombing should be right after Anakin and Obi-Wan escape Ventress and she says “Prepare to march.”? That way it gives a little extra time for the two of them to get back to base, and it directly connects Bail’s “Get me General Kenobi” with his message to the Jedi.
I think this is OK - it interrupts the most obvious break in the Ventress sequence, which I think is useful. But I think it maybe needs an establishing shot of the planet first, just to smooth it into place.
I love how you connected the Bail segments to the ground assault segments. It took me a few minutes to realize those were even from separate episodes.
I’m REALLY glad to hear this. I was really hoping I could thread this through successfully.
I’m getting some slight stuttering at 4:38, and one frame at 5:08…annnd a little at 5:17. Just every so often throughout, actually. Is it just me?
Yep, the video is from a bad source - I’m going to replace the whole thing.
The transition back to the battle at 5:24 feels just a hair rushed. Is there any extra time in the shot of the Admiral, that it could linger on him a smidge longer?
Regrettably no, though I might give the Admiral a slower fade, then into the audio of the fight, then fade in the video, to give it a bit more time to breathe in.
Overall, fantastic job toning down Ahsoka in the episode. One thing though, you could probably cut out the bit about “Do we still need this thing? I can’t take it anymore. I have to stand up.” by cutting directly from Anakin’s line to them lifting off the crate. That line makes her go from peppy to whiny, imo. Maybe even swapping Anakin’s “We have a ways to go.” so that it comes before Ahsoka’s “I think we made it past them!” That also tracks better with Anakin letting her stand up, and then hitting the droideka.
Thanks! I agree on standing up in the crate, I was still uncomfortable with that. That’s a good idea though, I’ll play with what you’ve suggested.
It feels weird to me that Obi-Wan surrenders without a plan. Maybe it could work if you cut from him standing in attack formation, to the close up of him, to the shot of the droids? That might imply that he’s overpowered by them, and thus being held by them in the next shot.
I’ve trimmed this in my working version. Now, he doesn’t surrender at all. He tells Cody(?) that he’ll slow the droids down, goes off to fight more, and we don’t see him again until after the shield is down and they’re back to base.
Great job timing Bail thanking Anakin with Anakin turning his head!
Thank you! I really wanted to know if this worked, because I’ve tried so many alternatives to this but not found any, and as it is I think this is imperfect. The turn works nicely, and then we can assume Bail is in the shadow of the wing, but I wish it had a little longer to land, or Anakin to acknowledge it without going straight over to Yoda and Obi-Wan. But I think I’m going to have to leave this imperfect, so long as nobody thinks it’s actively broken.
When Anakin talks to Yoda about Ahsoka, maybe it could be structured like this: Yoda says “Trouble with your new Padawan” > Obi-Wan says “I was explaining to Yoda about the situation.” > Anakin: “Really?” > Ahsoka glances at Anakin, Anakin looks at her (shots moved from before Obi-Wan’s line) > Yoda: “Perhaps we can…” and the scene continues. I feel like it will have more emotional weight if Ahsoka and Anakin share a glance as he’s deciding whether to accept her, rather than “Oh no, even Yoda’s talking about us.”
That’s a good thought! I’ll check this. I actually had introduced a different shot (from the end of Cat and Mouse actually) which could be interpreted at him looking at Ahsoka with a little humour and affection, but this seems cleaner.
EDIT: I’ve just tried this and you’re right - it really works!
Overall, really great job blending the three episodes together, and especially with making Ahsoka less annoying! I didn’t even notice the lack of "Sky Guy"s. Other than the nitpicky stuff above, my only “large change” suggestion might be to cut the opening with Ventress altogether, and just open with the bombing on Bail. Her stuff doesn’t really matter to the rest of the plot, and she talks about “her loyal informant” as if that person matters in your edit.
I almost agree. I think for this episode, the Ventress stuff achieves a couple of things - (1) It gives us a little lightsaber fight up front, and a nice scene of Obi-Wan and Anakin as a team, which flows nicely from AOTC. (2) It introduces us to Ventress, and we need her introduction here since she gets a lot less in our third episode when she reappears. And (3) It implies some kind of trickery and that the Separatists at this stage in the war are one or more steps ahead - making Ahsoka’s later help all the more valuable. I think they’re all minor bonuses rather than major ones but they add up to worthwhile.
As for the informant who now isn’t the traitor clone, wait until my S01E03 😉
So, here’s the update on Christophsis for everyone:
Because of the movie being a different format to the TV shows, I’ve struggled to find a good source for the video that has the right framerate. (Or rather, my editing software is misbehaving when this should be relatively easy.) Extremely generously, Sade1212 has offered to take my final episode and re-apply the full video track, to fix everything. So I need to finish this off completely then send it over for final render.
I’m making a few more bits of polish first - not having Obi-Wan surrender at all, a little more trimming to dialogue and flow in the Movie part, and better flow for the first five minutes. The imperfect Bail part at the very end will have to stay as it is. If anyone has any more feedback on the episode please share it now, because I don’t want to give Sade double the work!
Either way, this episode should be final relatively soon, so we’re back in proper order. Apologies for starting to release the series in a wobbly way.
In other news, Malevolence is being really good fun, It feels like the restructure I have for it works nicely.
I have watched the cut of Lair and I agree it works better as a separate episode.
Also I really like that suite you did McFibb! It manages to include almost all the major themes yet it feels natural and fittingly emotional.
Don’t worry - I’ll include it in a much fuller form as part of the complete cut. Since you’re our resident Grievous fan, what changes would you like to see made to Lair, if any?
You are all too kind! I’ll take another pass tonight for smoothing out the edges, tightening up some parts, and adding some additional instrumentation. While I like the overall length and “story” of the remixed score, it has a moment in the middle where I feel like it should just move on to the next movement. I think it’s the part that drops into the low-pass filtered piano order 66 theme. While I like that motif, especially expressed in this melancholy way, I think it draws out the “sadness” a little too much, bordering on maudlin. I’d like to see us move into the Maul motif a bit quicker, since the end is a bit prolongued as well, and that’s where the emotional hit really comes.
Happy for other feedback too. And @EddieDean, whenever you get a chance, can you mock-up over an ending/credits? Seeing it visually might help clarify some final tweaks.
And of course, now that I’ve done this, it makes me want to go back and keep working on the intro… 😃
Christophsis sounds like it’s coming together really well. And I do think that the ending with Bail works! Like I said, Anakin turning his head really does help to sell the merge.
Also, thank you for taking the time to consider my notes! Yours is the first project I’ve been able to watch as it’s in development (in the past, I’ve only discovered fanedits after they’re completed), so I hope I was able to help a little. Can’t wait to see more!
Just watched Ep. 2! I don’t really have many notes on this one - you did a solid job of trimming out the fat and making a concise, satisfying adventure. The spider droid works really well, how we don’t see it until Anakin does. Also, your introduction is amazing; I literally said “Oh damn” out loud. And I love the Mandalorian-style concept art for the end credits!
Great job!
Just watched the first three episodes and I can confirm this is coming together nicely. Can’t wait for the rest!
OK, I believe I’ve got my s01e01 end-to-end complete. I’m rendering the new version 1.1 now, which will become the new master version. This is a complete set of cuts incorporating all of your feedback to date (I think), it’s got complete start and end credits, and it’s got the opening minute from Eminence to stand as the cold open/teaser moment for our entire show.
That’s rendering and I’ll have it uploaded as soon as possible. If I’ve missed any fixes or tweaks in response to anyone’s feedback, please remind me!
The major caveat is that, with the parts which come from the movie, there are framerate issues. Sade1212 has kindly offered to fix these for me, but obviously he’s under no obligation to rush this back to us. To minimise his work and avoid duplication, I’m uploading the episode in its current form, so that the community can review it once more in case I need to make any final final (final) tweaks before he rebuilds the video.
It is still watchable, however. Just expect a little scratchiness.
And for those who’d like to review the new/updated stuff but don’t want to watch the whole episode again, here’s:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BjDfaYmNfwy7fjQVfAfGjIdEShAtLzEP/view?usp=sharing
Which represents my s01e01 episode’s introduction, plus the full credits and theme music I’ll use for all episodes, plus the cold open to this episode/the series.
and
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vPfpTxeMJmTQiHv1szh9XShAb9FePoLJ/view?usp=sharing
Which represents my s01e01 episode’s conclusion (including a modified ‘Bail thanks’ scene and a slightly tweaked ‘Anakin accepts Ahsoka’ scene), end credits and theme music, and the correctly formatted community credits.
Please, I urge anyone who’s up for it, give any feedback you have on these clips or the v1.1 when it’s released. The quality of this project has already materially improved due to the great attention and consideration you’ve given this work - its potential is highest thanks to you all. And this one particular is going to be new viewer’s introduction to the show, the replacement for the horrendous movie, and as I’ve said, hard work for Sade1212!
Well, the first episode in watch order, but the third episode in release order.
That means we have our full first three episodes available.
Please check the last post though - there is a caveat!
The link’s in the tracker spreadsheet - PM if you don’t yet have access.
Next up, I’ll polish up s01e02 and s01e03 to the same standard, then it’s on to s01e04 Malevolence, which I promise you is going to be nothing like the original, but really works!
So, watched ep01 again, nothing major occurred to me aside from the known framerate issues. Again nice solution with bail organa.
My only critic would be the audio transition in a tonal way from end of episode to credits. the music tracks are to different in my opinion. Though the created track from McFibb is awesome! I would suggest try to transition to and start the outro track at 27:02 with duel of the fates.
have to watch ep03. will give feedback to that in this post.
EDIT:
watched ep03, don’t have to criticize anything from my end on this episode regarding technically and narrative. ventress as character is awesome in this episode. really cunning and dangerous.
end credits scene „cary silver“ and „dave filoni“ i would say there is too much shadow behind the text. uncomfortably to read, at least for me.
19:37/19:38 is the cut in the original that weird also? feels very abrupt.
excited to see/hear some new version for the end credit score!
Thanks for checking through it again CMMAP. Those transitions to credits are tricky! McFibb and I are working on some more mockups for how to get them to work naturally. We’ll get there!
I watched Christophsis.
Good stuff:
Nitpicks:
Observations irrelevant to the edit:
- Loathsome isn’t missed, even if I did enjoy Obi-Wan winding him up with war crimes.
Haha, yeah, I did enjoy Obi-Wan being a war criminal just a little. For a treat.
