Yay! More Christophsis feedback! I needed some, so this is appreciated.
I love the atmosphere of the music starting, and then the video coming in a little later.
Yeah, I thought that worked quite nicely. Obviously it’ll open after the credits, but I’ll let the music play first, a lot like it is now.
At 2:05 the sound transition is a tad noticeable. Maybe you could erase a bit of the sweeping shot of the room, then cut to after Obi-Wan’s initial strike, and do an L-cut on the audio. There’s a moment here where Obi-Wan sort of gears up to do a large swing, which might make for a good “joining the battle” kind of move.
Alternatively, you could just cut directly from the initial break to the close-up shots with the three of them. That might help to hide the fact that Anakin and Ventress are on the steps, snap to the ground level, and then are back on the steps.
The music starts to drown out Ventress as she says “We’re about to take control of this world.” (Although, the editing here is pretty much seamless with the transition, so I’m genuinely not sure if it was like that in the original episode.)
Agreed, I think I need to polish the Ventress section a little. Right now it’s “all of it” but I think it needs a bit of flow touch.
Maybe the Bail Bombing should be right after Anakin and Obi-Wan escape Ventress and she says “Prepare to march.”? That way it gives a little extra time for the two of them to get back to base, and it directly connects Bail’s “Get me General Kenobi” with his message to the Jedi.
I think this is OK - it interrupts the most obvious break in the Ventress sequence, which I think is useful. But I think it maybe needs an establishing shot of the planet first, just to smooth it into place.
I love how you connected the Bail segments to the ground assault segments. It took me a few minutes to realize those were even from separate episodes.
I’m REALLY glad to hear this. I was really hoping I could thread this through successfully.
I’m getting some slight stuttering at 4:38, and one frame at 5:08…annnd a little at 5:17. Just every so often throughout, actually. Is it just me?
Yep, the video is from a bad source - I’m going to replace the whole thing.
The transition back to the battle at 5:24 feels just a hair rushed. Is there any extra time in the shot of the Admiral, that it could linger on him a smidge longer?
Regrettably no, though I might give the Admiral a slower fade, then into the audio of the fight, then fade in the video, to give it a bit more time to breathe in.
Overall, fantastic job toning down Ahsoka in the episode. One thing though, you could probably cut out the bit about “Do we still need this thing? I can’t take it anymore. I have to stand up.” by cutting directly from Anakin’s line to them lifting off the crate. That line makes her go from peppy to whiny, imo. Maybe even swapping Anakin’s “We have a ways to go.” so that it comes before Ahsoka’s “I think we made it past them!” That also tracks better with Anakin letting her stand up, and then hitting the droideka.
Thanks! I agree on standing up in the crate, I was still uncomfortable with that. That’s a good idea though, I’ll play with what you’ve suggested.
It feels weird to me that Obi-Wan surrenders without a plan. Maybe it could work if you cut from him standing in attack formation, to the close up of him, to the shot of the droids? That might imply that he’s overpowered by them, and thus being held by them in the next shot.
I’ve trimmed this in my working version. Now, he doesn’t surrender at all. He tells Cody(?) that he’ll slow the droids down, goes off to fight more, and we don’t see him again until after the shield is down and they’re back to base.
Great job timing Bail thanking Anakin with Anakin turning his head!
Thank you! I really wanted to know if this worked, because I’ve tried so many alternatives to this but not found any, and as it is I think this is imperfect. The turn works nicely, and then we can assume Bail is in the shadow of the wing, but I wish it had a little longer to land, or Anakin to acknowledge it without going straight over to Yoda and Obi-Wan. But I think I’m going to have to leave this imperfect, so long as nobody thinks it’s actively broken.
When Anakin talks to Yoda about Ahsoka, maybe it could be structured like this: Yoda says “Trouble with your new Padawan” > Obi-Wan says “I was explaining to Yoda about the situation.” > Anakin: “Really?” > Ahsoka glances at Anakin, Anakin looks at her (shots moved from before Obi-Wan’s line) > Yoda: “Perhaps we can…” and the scene continues. I feel like it will have more emotional weight if Ahsoka and Anakin share a glance as he’s deciding whether to accept her, rather than “Oh no, even Yoda’s talking about us.”
That’s a good thought! I’ll check this. I actually had introduced a different shot (from the end of Cat and Mouse actually) which could be interpreted at him looking at Ahsoka with a little humour and affection, but this seems cleaner.
EDIT: I’ve just tried this and you’re right - it really works!
Overall, really great job blending the three episodes together, and especially with making Ahsoka less annoying! I didn’t even notice the lack of "Sky Guy"s. Other than the nitpicky stuff above, my only “large change” suggestion might be to cut the opening with Ventress altogether, and just open with the bombing on Bail. Her stuff doesn’t really matter to the rest of the plot, and she talks about “her loyal informant” as if that person matters in your edit.
I almost agree. I think for this episode, the Ventress stuff achieves a couple of things - (1) It gives us a little lightsaber fight up front, and a nice scene of Obi-Wan and Anakin as a team, which flows nicely from AOTC. (2) It introduces us to Ventress, and we need her introduction here since she gets a lot less in our third episode when she reappears. And (3) It implies some kind of trickery and that the Separatists at this stage in the war are one or more steps ahead - making Ahsoka’s later help all the more valuable. I think they’re all minor bonuses rather than major ones but they add up to worthwhile.
As for the informant who now isn’t the traitor clone, wait until my S01E03 😉