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Post #1400545

Author
SherlockPotter7
Parent topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1400545/action/topic#1400545
Date created
7-Jan-2021, 12:56 AM

I just watched 1.01 - Christophsis. Really, really nice job! A couple of observations I had while watching:

  • I love the atmosphere of the music starting, and then the video coming in a little later.

  • At 2:05 the sound transition is a tad noticeable. Maybe you could erase a bit of the sweeping shot of the room, then cut to after Obi-Wan’s initial strike, and do an L-cut on the audio. There’s a moment here where Obi-Wan sort of gears up to do a large swing, which might make for a good “joining the battle” kind of move.
    Alternatively, you could just cut directly from the initial break to the close-up shots with the three of them. That might help to hide the fact that Anakin and Ventress are on the steps, snap to the ground level, and then are back on the steps.

  • The music starts to drown out Ventress as she says “We’re about to take control of this world.” (Although, the editing here is pretty much seamless with the transition, so I’m genuinely not sure if it was like that in the original episode.)

  • Maybe the Bail Bombing should be right after Anakin and Obi-Wan escape Ventress and she says “Prepare to march.”? That way it gives a little extra time for the two of them to get back to base, and it directly connects Bail’s “Get me General Kenobi” with his message to the Jedi.

  • I love how you connected the Bail segments to the ground assault segments. It took me a few minutes to realize those were even from separate episodes.

  • I’m getting some slight stuttering at 4:38, and one frame at 5:08…annnd a little at 5:17. Just every so often throughout, actually. Is it just me?

  • The transition back to the battle at 5:24 feels just a hair rushed. Is there any extra time in the shot of the Admiral, that it could linger on him a smidge longer?

  • Overall, fantastic job toning down Ahsoka in the episode. One thing though, you could probably cut out the bit about “Do we still need this thing? I can’t take it anymore. I have to stand up.” by cutting directly from Anakin’s line to them lifting off the crate. That line makes her go from peppy to whiny, imo. Maybe even swapping Anakin’s “We have a ways to go.” so that it comes before Ahsoka’s “I think we made it past them!” That also tracks better with Anakin letting her stand up, and then hitting the droideka.

  • It feels weird to me that Obi-Wan surrenders without a plan. Maybe it could work if you cut from him standing in attack formation, to the close up of him, to the shot of the droids? That might imply that he’s overpowered by them, and thus being held by them in the next shot.

  • Great job timing Bail thanking Anakin with Anakin turning his head!

  • When Anakin talks to Yoda about Ahsoka, maybe it could be structured like this: Yoda says “Trouble with your new Padawan” > Obi-Wan says “I was explaining to Yoda about the situation.” > Anakin: “Really?” > Ahsoka glances at Anakin, Anakin looks at her (shots moved from before Obi-Wan’s line) > Yoda: “Perhaps we can…” and the scene continues. I feel like it will have more emotional weight if Ahsoka and Anakin share a glance as he’s deciding whether to accept her, rather than “Oh no, even Yoda’s talking about us.”

Overall, really great job blending the three episodes together, and especially with making Ahsoka less annoying! I didn’t even notice the lack of "Sky Guy"s. Other than the nitpicky stuff above, my only “large change” suggestion might be to cut the opening with Ventress altogether, and just open with the bombing on Bail. Her stuff doesn’t really matter to the rest of the plot, and she talks about “her loyal informant” as if that person matters in your edit.