Regarding the closing titles, personally I think the credits/score sync works best when the piece of music that starts at 21:30 in Cloak of Darkness hits the same time as the OT forum credits, as it did in the previous episode. The starting point of the music of course can vary depending on how it blends better with the episode. Maybe you could move forward the beginning of the credits a few seconds or reduce a bit the duration of the text. I agree with giving more screentime to the most striking concept art.
The episode itself was well-done, and good call on making Argyus the mole as you had suggested earlier. Shame to see Lair go, since it’s the only time Grievous gets any backstory or the chance to kill a Jedi in this series, but at least there will always be the complete cut or the original episode to check out.