So after watching The Death Watch episode, there were a couple of possible improvement points I noticed. In general, I think the episode works well! The pacing is faster and the majority of the cuts were natural, so much so that I had trouble discerning where they were. I love the intro music, and the outro music also is nice (if it were a touch less melancholy I think it would be perfect). So a few nitpicks (apologies if they’ve been said before):
- the music over the intro and the end credits is noticeably louder than the rest of the episode audio
- An establishing planet shot might help the transition between the episode title and the opening scene
- at 14:55, Obi-Wan says “Satine, look out!” or something to that effect. To me Obi-Wan’s line feels a hair early, this might be fixed if it was a hair later?
- After Obi-Wan and Satine return from Concordia there’s little to no explanation why they’re getting on a ship. Unfortunately, this is how the original first episode ended, and the voice over for the next one explained that Satine was going to the Senate? So I’m not sure how that one would be fixed, might just have to infer based on later scenes.
- I felt like the spider droids could have used a touch more suspense, maybe include the short shot of the spider droid climbing out of the crate, or something to that effect?
Take all of the above with a grain of salt though! I was much more entertained by your cut than the original episodes, and agreed with the excess you cut. Nice work!