I have just watched both of your edits. I’m not so sure about the inclusion of the elements from the prequel Christopsis episodes (Ventress and Bail). I don’t want to dismiss those ideas right away as I realize this is only a rough cut and you probably want to work on it some more.

I think the Mandalore episode is pretty much good to go. I can’t believe how well the conveyor belt scene cut works. I’ll echo some of the notes already mentioned. The mention of Satine’s “daring rescue” probably needs to go. All she really does is provide a brief distraction during the fight. As for the elevator cut you could probably fix this by adding in the SFX of the door opening. I believe Smudger solves this cut by intercuting to a brief shot of the ship in hyperspace, which should also work out nicely.