At present I’ve just finished adding your edit to my e-reader library, and everything displays like it should so that’s a good sign! I’ve tried editing epubs with Calibre myself in the past (to add covers to epubs that don’t have them) and I was having problems, so it’s a relief to see that your version doesn’t have formatting issues on my device. I’m not a slow reader, but I do make slow progress since I tend to only read on my commute, so I will definitely try to provide feedback as soon as I can.
I’m glad to hear that you plan to tackle RotS, as it’s easily the best of the movie novelizations and would definitely do well to exist alongside everything that has come after it. I also agree that the general prospect of novel fanediting holds a lot of potential for the SW community. On one hand, people can make canon-friendly versions of their favorite Legends novels, which is an exciting prospect for canon junkies.
Plus, on the other hand, novels that are already canon can have their inconsistencies smoothed over for easier reading. For example, Ahsoka doesn’t match the Siege of Mandalore from TCW S7, in the TFA novel Rey and Poe meet but on-screen they don’t until TLJ (among other issues with the TFA novel stemming from it using an old script), in Lords of the Sith the same royal guard dies twice, and iirc Vader Annual 2 doesn’t match Catalyst. I’ve also seen people say that Tarkin has weirdness about his flagship Executrix and debuts the Interdictor before it appears in Rebels, and a character named Arsin Crassus appears in Aftermath: Life Debt despite dying in Aftermath, though I’m less familiar with those issues as I have yet to read those novels.
edit: A few more canon issues: Escape from Vodran contradicts the Poe Dameron comic regarding Snap’s wedding (a dead character is there while Leia is not), Aftermath’s End says Leia got pregnant on Endor but Bloodline says it happened on the Falcon, Bloodline also says Leia wanted to join the rebels from 15 despite not learning until 16, Aftermath doesn’t state Akiva is a Rebel planet despite it having a Rebel prison in a comic, Lost Stars says a Star Destroyer has never been captured and also doesn’t mention Scarif, Princess of Alderaan has Leia on Crait despite Storms of Crait saying it was her first time there, and Princess of Alderaan also says that Breha was an only child and focuses strongly on Leia’s royal upbringing yet does not mention Leia’s overbearing aunts from Legends that are mentioned in Moving Target and Royal Rebel (RR also claims Leia went straight to Hoth after the Princess Leia comics, which contradicts those comics and all of the other stuff with Leia in it between ANH and ESB). Of course, most of these are extremely minor, but then I imagine most edits that would be done to most novels would be fairly minor.