That said, I’m really happy with the actual cuts. I’ve managed to remove the conveyor belt entirely, cut out the mini spiders, and cut out the bits where people are just wandering around in the cargo bay.

The conveyor belt scene took a major rework. You can see it in the clips in my previous post (though excuse any framerate issues.) It now goes:

Obi-Wan goes off to ‘meditate’, we see him approach the front door of the mine
Satine and Viszla talk
Mandalorians jump out at Obi-Wan, he, loses his lightsaber, but isn’t knocked out
Obi-Wan calls Satine at dinner with Viszla. I’ve added the sounds of background fighting to his call dialogue. Now, he’s simply overwhelmed and suprised, fighting tough guys without his saber, and knowing that Satine is savvy enough to distract them so he can get the upper hand. He’s putting her at risk but they spent a year together - they trust each other.
Satine leaves dinner and arrives at the mine.
We see Obi-Wan’s still in the same fight from earlier.
Satine triggers the door alarm.
As they fight (as opposed to while they have Obi-Wan on the conveyor), the Mandos now say “A disturbance at the entrance”, then team up to knock Obi-Wan back, still unarmed (he looks like he’s taken a bad hit here and needs a moment - previously this led into him being knocked out), then say “Let’s go check it out”
They run off, and Satine sneaks in
I use a long shot from earlier when Obi-Wan scanned the room, and cut dialogue of Satine saying “where are you?” (previously from when she arrived at the entrance), to give the Mandalorians time to reach the entrance, realise they’ve been tricked, and run back in. I also added cut dialogue from the conveyor scene to have them say “The boss will love the lightsaber”, to semi-justify why Viszla has it later. (You have to assume something happens offscreen.)
The Mandalorians immediately grab Satine, to Obi-Wan’s (hidden) cry of “Look out!”, but then I use the second half of his backflip off the conveyor to have him jump down from the rafters - this actually works really nicely, I think. It implies that he’s used the element of suprise - exactly as they did when they caught him - instead of relying on might versus two unexpected Mandos.
He lands on the one Mando, knocking him out, and flips the other. As in the original, we cut into Satine and Obi-Wan moving to get out of there right away.

I also found that the focus on Obi-Wan and Satine is much stronger when we don’t keep cutting away to the lower deck. Her scenes actually flow perfectly, so we get about ten minutes of really nice, deep, character building.

Now I’ve watched it in this format, I think this episode works great as our episode two for the theoretical first time viewer. Right away we get Mandalore, Death Watch, and the Darksaber. We get new layers to existing things: shades of grey within the Republic, new depth to Obi-Wan. And we end on Anakin killing a guy in cold blood with a smirk, which shows that this show is going to explore more of Anakin’s fall.