ADR14NAT1ON, agreed that ‘so’ is out of place, and that the dialogue should still be fruitier than I had it.

Knight of Kalee, I was hoping that the ‘informant’ and Ventress’ later reference to ‘you are betrayed’ could stay, even unanswered, because I figured that the grand army / the Republic at large are such huge organisations that feasibly the Separatists may have lots of options for subterfuge. We also know that the Seppies have been planning this war for a far longer time than the Republic, and both Sidious and Dooku are subtle manipulators. Even if not, two episodes later (in my ordering) we see Captain Argyus turn traitor and be working directly with Ventress, so I think that could implicitly answer it if it’s still niggling at the back of someone’s mind.

Do you think that works, or should I remove the reference?

Also agreed on droids. We have to accept them as part of the ‘fabric’ of Star Wars, as we also have to accept that Star Wars often enjoys light humour. I’ll seek to prune only the most egregious LOLs.