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The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one! — Page 15

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@EddieDean — re: the cold open idea, I think ordering could be:

  • New SW logo
  • Intro text
  • Cold open
  • TCW logo (agree on movement)
  • Episode title
  • Core episode

I also agree with the previous commenter that fewer lines or split across two pages would be better. That said, left aligned works for me.

And I totally respect that each SW franchise can have its own unique identity. So run with it! We’re just voices in the ether with an opinion on everything!

And it can’t be said enough: thank you!

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I’ll have to consider the cold open idea further. What you essentially need is a strong opening scene, followed by a beat to breathe where you’d put your titles, then a decent enough follow up scene. And I don’t know that every episode has that.

Remember, every audio transition is potentially jarring, so you generally want to avoid interrupting the episode as much as possible - it can reveal the amateur nature of the edit.

We’d also need a very strong ten second piece of music (like Mando’s ba-dummm) for the title to “own”.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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EddieDean said:

I’ll have to consider the cold open idea further. What you essentially need is a strong opening scene, followed by a beat to breathe where you’d put your titles, then a decent enough follow up scene. And I don’t know that every episode has that.

Remember, every audio transition is potentially jarring, so you generally want to avoid interrupting the episode as much as possible - it can reveal the amateur nature of the edit.

We’d also need a very strong ten second piece of music (like Mando’s ba-dummm) for the title to “own”.

Right on both counts. I’m happy to enlist myself in IDing appropriate music. I’ve also some experience as an audio engineer/mixer (though as a hobby vs pro), so happy to try my hand at any audio transition issues you face (eg. compression, EQ, limiting, etc.) It occurs to me too that a new member just posted he’s a pro engineer and interested in supporting fan edits. Maybe he’d be a good resource whenever you cross this bridge?

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I’m probably a little late on suggestions, but here’s some thoughts! On my first watch I felt the intro music was a little too mellow. Music that falls tonally somewhere between the standard Clone Wars intro music and what you used in the demo clip would feel a bit better in my eyes (or ears).

The sequence of intro text, Clone Wars title, then episode title works well, but I would be interested to see how different ordering feels, especially if you are doing a cold open format. The outro music and credits with the concept art is perfect. I wouldn’t change that at all. Great job!

I am no Jedi

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Message received! I’ll play around with the intro music and flow.

Glad everyone seems to like the ending. It’s a wonderful piece of music.

Here’s a question for you all: If I run out of concept ART for the closing credits, would it be best to fill the gaps with promotional shots from the episode (so nice shots but not concept), or other concept materials like the images they show when creating new assets like sets or characters, which are less beautiful but interesting in a different way?

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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 (Edited)

EddieDean said:
Here’s a question for you all: If I run out of concept ART for the closing credits, would it be best to fill the gaps with promotional shots from the episode (so nice shots but not concept), or other concept materials like the images they show when creating new assets like sets or characters, which are less beautiful but interesting in a different way?

Would work for me. Another idea would be, to use gimp and make screenshots from episodes more art-like via filter.

Here you’ve the thread from the pro audio engineer who’s looking to support fan edits
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/pro-audio-engineer-looking-to-get-involved/id/81422/page/1#1394162

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I loved the opening and closing credits! I don’t have many unique things to say,most of my sentiments echo what others have already said, but I had an idea for the ending credits.

EddieDean said:
Here’s a question for you all: If I run out of concept ART for the closing credits, would it be best to fill the gaps with promotional shots from the episode (so nice shots but not concept), or other concept materials like the images they show when creating new assets like sets or characters, which are less beautiful but interesting in a different way?

I think if you want to keep the beauty aspect, you could potentially use screencaps from cut sequences/episodes. Stays thematically relevant and gives kudos to the rest of the series. Maybe you could throw on some sort of filter to make them look more like concept art?

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I like that. There is enough material to make that work. I think it works nicely as a homage to what was lost, though I can see people objecting on the grounds of it being potentially confusing. But I think I’ll do that unless there’s outcry.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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SECOND ELEMENT TEST AVAILABLE

https://vimeo.com/494944921

OK, I’ve made some changes to this one.

  • Audio for intro is different. I took a version of Ahsoka’s theme (since she’s our core) with bombast up front, a little melancholy in the middle, and a touch of military at the end, which should give us relatively decent flow from the elements that come before and after, whilst still giving us that little hint that something’s not as it should be. Let me know how it feels but please keep suggesting alternatives.
  • I’ve centered the intro text and split it over two pages so it’s less overwhelming. (I don’t want to reduce the quantity of text overall since I might end up needing to use text to help my future cuts go more smoothly.)
  • I’ve given the CLONE WARS logo a little zoom to give it a bit of life.
  • I’ve kept the ending the same, just flipped the text to yellow instead of teal. It’s still a ‘family’ colour. I think I’d like to stay a little closer to established fonts and colours for this show (as opposed to for Mando) since this is more one of the ‘classics’.

(Ignore the couple of images in the outro credits which aren’t fullscreen; all will be in the real episodes)

Let me know what you think needs further tweaking, anything that doesn’t work, which options you prefer in v1 vs v2, etc.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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 (Edited)
  • Splitting the text as you have and adding capitalisation is a great improvement. The slight zoom on the TCW logo also works well.
  • The new intro music is alright, but I think I’m in the minority who quite liked the original, more melancholy music. While having Ahsoka’s theme there certainly helps cement her as the main character, I wouldn’t want a prospective audience to get sick of it, or for the repetition to reduce the impact of its use at the end of Season 5 (which I presume you’ll replicate to some degree).
  • I’m not sold on the yellow credits text. Bright yellow is a Star Wars colour, but I don’t think it looks very nice on anything except black. I’d be tempted to use the teal, but to experiment with slightly zooming in each piece concept art and slowly panning across it in some random direction.
  • I still think the TCW logo should be the first thing we see after the Star Wars TV intro (assuming cold opens aren’t feasible); and I think the new music would actually facilitate that even better.
  • Regarding using screenshots of deleted scenes for the credits: isn’t it mostly unfinished, pre-viz stuff? I’d be in favour of filtering any screenshots you do use. An alternative is fanart but that’s a lot of permissions to ask for.
  • On the topic of deleted scenes, it seems there are some fully animated sequences. Perhaps they could be readded, where they don’t conflict with the final episode, to beef up the runtime of shorter episodes. Though perhaps that goes against the ethos of cutting away filler.
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sade1212 said:

  • The new intro music is alright, but I think I’m in the minority who quite liked the original, more melancholy music. While having Ahsoka’s theme there certainly helps cement her as the main character, I wouldn’t want a prospective audience to get sick of it, or for the repetition to reduce the impact of its use at the end of Season 5 (which I presume you’ll replicate to some degree).

Seconded. Also, you may want to adjust the timing of the text. There is quite a lot of it and on my first watch the second screen text disappeared before I was able to take it all in.

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Noted both. I also preferred more melancholy. When I was looking for something with a bit more bombast I did pass over a few other suitable candidates for softer, so I’ll revisit those. I also checked out the non-sad version of the Clones theme but think it’s a bit too military for what I’m going for. My preference would be to more closely link military==tragedy in this show, rather than just let the ‘wars’ element of the clone wars be an isolated element.

I’ll also give myself a bit longer than a minute for the intro music, to let the text linger for longer. I’ll also see if TCW logo fits earlier to a given track, though I don’t think this is mandatory, since other shows allow it to come after intro text equivalents or cold opens.

I also think I prefer teal text for end credits over yellow, though I’ll see if I can give it more shadow and let the background images move a bit (though I’m adding work per episode here).

I’d prefer to keep the end credits over static images, and ideally the concept paintings from StarWars.com for consistency. I think scenes that I’ve cut are a cuter addition than promotional shots or the art showing digital elements (like character models or sets). I think I want to avoid previs.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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  • I second the more melancholy approach with the music. It could be difficult to aquiere a mando-like bombast intro.
  • I love the yellow over the concept arts
  • moving the tcw logo seems right. Additionally I would extend the display of it a few seconds more, also I think more zoom would work well.

Overall I think it is a great improvement 😃

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 (Edited)

OK, here’s v3 and v4:

https://vimeo.com/495007394

https://vimeo.com/495008145

  • We’re back to melancholy intro music. I shopped around for another ~1m track which hit the right mood, but I couldn’t find a better alternative by Samuel Kim. Other similar ones tend to be too morbid, too military, too synth, or clearly a part of a longer track. I think I’m going to stick with this one for now unless someone shares something amazing.
  • I have restructured the opening though, hitting the pings in a more balanced way and giving the whole piece more time to breathe and stand alone, and keeping the centred two-page format for the text.
  • The ending I’ve switched back to the teal colour, but added the movement to the backgrounds. This was quite fun, and I like how it worked out. I think the moving background also makes it easier to parse the text. (Note: I’ve only done these effects for the first four images, since it does take quite a while, just to give you the impression of how it feels.)
  • The only difference between v3 and v4 is that the intro for v3 goes TCW > Text > Title, and lasts longer, whereas v4 goes Text > TCW > Title, and has a bit less dead time.

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 (Edited)

I like both and I’m glad to see the subtler music return. It pairs really well with the centered and more spread out intro text. I also enjoyed the panning concept art a lot, so I hope that’s not too much extra work to keep.

If you go with V4, maybe consider having the TCW logo start more zoomed-in so it reaches the same ultimate size as it does in V3 despite being on-screen for a shorter time. I’d still be tempted by a fatter credits font, also - I think the Siege of Mandalore at least uses a pretty wide font for its “Created by George Lucas” text etc.

Have you thought about ending the final line of text with the amusingly-incorrect-but-traditional four dots that every opening crawl has?

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V4 was my preference, and yes, I accidentally rendered it without tweaking the Clone Wars logo, which I agree should end up at max (well, hit the safety zones).

I’ll see if I can find a slightly wider font.

I do like the ellipsis. I liked that in my last line of my v1. It feels a bit pulpy and cheeky, but I think that’s OK for Star Wars? Interested in folks’ feelings on that.

Currently, in terms of lines, I went with
1,2,2. : 2,2,1.
With the very first being “time period within the clone wars”, and the very last being “hint at what’s to come”. Though I don’t know if that last one needs to strictly be 1 line.

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Currently, V4 stands as my favorite.

The time for reading the entire text feels appropiate enough, though you could wait one second ore two for each new paragraph to fade in.

I second a wider font and teal color for the closing credits.

I like the motion for the backgrounds. If it were just a bit slower it would look better imo.

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I was hoping nobody would say that about the speed of the end credits! I’ve got it right now so it ‘snaps’ which makes it more reproducible, though if I slow it down it’ll be much harder to copy times eleven for each episode. I’ll see if I have any other options.

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EddieDean said:

I was hoping nobody would say that about the speed of the end credits! I’ve got it right now so it ‘snaps’ which makes it more reproducible, though if I slow it down it’ll be much harder to copy times eleven for each episode. I’ll see if I have any other options.

The end credits are perfect, I meant the intro text (if it doesn’t cause issues with the score sync, of course).

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I also prefer v4, like the others and most importantly yourself.
The motion of the background in the end credits is great. Would second a little wider font size.
As for the display of the single textlines: as suggested one or two seconds more I find difficult. I think half a second more would be enough.

Really great work mate.

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v4 is good, although I prefer the less melancholy music, for what it’s worth, since I think the tone of the show is more in line with that one

reylo?

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Just agreeing with what’s been said above. I like v4 the best and think the motion you added to the Clone Wars logo fits well. I assume that the music transition from the Star Wars tv logo to the intro text would be smoothed out in a final version?

I am no Jedi