Time for some intense nitpicking:

I feel like the blue scene-setting text could do with some antialiasing. The “W” in “…early days of the Clone Wars” is a good example of the aliasing. I generally get around issues like this by rendering simple stuff like crawls or text or credits out at 4K, or even 8K, and then letting Premiere resize it down to 1080p, but I don’t know if that’s possible with your Vegas workflow. Apologies if this is just a Vimeo thing.
The dead-still Clone Wars logo feels like it could be doing something. Perhaps I’m just overly used to how it retreats in the series’ original intro. The Mandalorian’s logo zooms in slowly.
Something seems odd to me about going set-up text -> show logo -> episode name, since the first and last will change for each episode but the logo won’t. The syncing of the text and the logo and the episode name to the music are great though, so sacrificing that would be a shame. (Maybe you could kill two birds with one stone here: if the logo was between the Star Wars intro and the first line of the setting text, you could use that time for some kind of musical bridge to alleviate CMMAP’s concern about that transition. Perhaps an additional line of text would then be needed to maintain the music sync.)
Sometimes the credits text is difficult to read over the background. There’s already a shadow but perhaps some kind of dark glow might help. The Mandalorian manages because of a) being lighter text on often dark concept art, b) having the concept art be constantly in motion and c) having much thicker text, so some combination of those would probably help.
Some of the ‘concept art’ is just images from the episode, and a few of them don’t fill the screen. I’m assuming this is placeholder though.

Now for the stuff I liked:

The music choices are fantastic and add a real gravitas to the intro and especially the outro. (Edit - seems this is controversial; but my vote is to definitely keep the outro music).
It feels very professional, and very artistic. It’s very tonally distant from the newsreel, but I think that works well - it has a similar tone to the final arc, which is my favourite bit of TCW.
Your scene-setting text is smartly written and pleasant to read. You even picked my preferred spelling of neutralise. If I absolutely had to quibble I’d bring up the use of both “newly” and “new” in the fourth line, and I’d argue for “Jedi Council” rather than “Jedi council”.
I’ve never bothered to look up any TCW concept art so I enjoyed seeing it and am looking forward to more.
That Star Wars TV intro from Mando never fails to get me hyped. I’d disagree with CMMAP and argue to keep it even if the transition isn’t perfect.
There was plenty of time to read everything.

Edit: I agree with McFibb that a cold open would be very cool. Perhaps after the intro text, though, otherwise there’s really absolutely no context for what’s going on. I’m also in favour of selective capitalisation of the set-up text. For all its other sins, I felt the intro text of Star Wars Theory’s Vader fanfilm actually had a quite effective use of capitalisation.