Some interesting workarounds.
But since Jango isn’t on Geonosis in your cut, why not completely cut him from the film? He was always an useless fanservice of a character anyways.
Consider this: the kaminoans might have their gene pools or something like that. Why would they (or Count Dooku, for that matter) need a random mercenary to be either an outside asset or a loose end on this monumental operation? So Obi follows the dart trail to Kamino, discovers the clone army, and when he is about to meet the unknown “supervisor” who ordered the clones, a ship (still Slave I, but who cares) departs hastily upon learning of the jedi’s inquiry, but not before Obi whips him a tracking device. This should improve the veil of secrecy involving Count Dooku and the assassination plan when Obi-Wan finally uncovers him in Geonosis, rather than just skip leads from one bounty hunter to another. What do you think?
As for Shmi, I’m curious to see how you make it work. Paired with the downplaying of Jango, these are some promising changes I have no knowledge of prior attempts.