You (probably?) have the current version; that description wasn’t meant to be an exact quote. I re-recorded the lines for V2 or V3 but the wording remained the same, I believe.
And my prequel edits take a deliberate approach not to alter their “prequel” nature, as those three films read that way naturally. They aren’t any better or worse than the theatricals in terms of viewing them chronologically versus in release order. Plus, what happens with the twins is already less clear that ideal given the footage available to work with the “Padme lives” idea, so I wouldn’t want to muddle it further.
Hmmm, I see.
I personally think the less clear than ideal role of the twins actually makes for a more compelling loose end to be tied up later, whether Padme survives or not. But I understand its not your approach.
The medical prognosis as it currently is, however, does make an avoidable confusion for the “Padmé lives” ending, just because the droid clearly states that her survival is at stake and a moment later we see her settled in Alderaan. It would be strange that her sustained injuries or her profound sadness had not killed her in days after giving birth, as implied by the droid and the original ending, rather than the longer amount of time she is given to spend with Leia enough for her daughter to remember her. If the implication, however, is that Padmé indeed perishes in Alderaan soon after the twins delivery, Leia is still too young to remember her mother and the change might be somewhat redundant.
So even if you show Padmé alive, the medical prognosis is just not consistent with her survival. If the droid lines were exactly how you phrased them yourself in your cutlist, however, it would work like a charm.