Okay so I took a look at the workprint. Overall I think you really nailed your primary goal of removing Rey’s Palpatine lineage from the film. I’m pretty surprised at just how well it works. I have some minor quibbles, and some of the other choices you made about what to take out and what to leave in make me lean toward Hal’s Ascendant as my overall preferred edit, but I think it’s a really solid effort overall. Here are some more specific notes:
I hope you’re able to implement more neutral color grading in your final release. Watching this reminded me how much I dislike the film’s original color grading, which feels un-Star Wars-like.
Like KumoNin, I don’t really understand the choice to remove the Snoke line, especially since you left the vats of cloned Snokes in the film. Along the same lines, Hal made a collection of minor changes meant to suggest some context as to just how Palpatine returned, and I miss those here. In his edit, we can infer that he’s an imperfect clone body possesed with Palpatine’s spirit, but like the theatrical version, I don’t think the situation is quite as clear here.
I understand the need to remove the line “she’s not who you think she is” but I think the transition out from the first Exogol scene doesn’t feel as strong. Would there be a way to keep the line “You will rule the galaxy as the new emperor” and Palpatine’s sly smile? I feel like it suggests the fact that Palpatine is selling Kylo down the river in this moment.
I like the elegance of Hal’s implementation of removing lightspeed skipping and shifting the chess scene to the end of the film. I think what you have works fine though. However, with lightspeed skipping still in, I wonder if it might make more sense just to revert to the theatrical scene order.
The way you constructed new visions for Rey and Kylo is brilliant, as always.
“Somehow, Palpatine has returned” 🤢 I was originally not a proponent of the Fortnite audio in Hal’s edit, but I have admit that I miss it’s use covering this line.
I think you may have extended the tail end of the First Order conference scene? The transition out felt a little less abrupt to me, which is a good thing.
I’d hate to give Rose any less screen time, but I wonder if anyone has considered just cutting the awkward Snap Wexley exchange. It’s such a slight scene and the comedy really doesn’t work for me. I think it might be better to just follow our heroes in this moment.
I really liked your implementation of excising Finn and Poe’s bickering in the tunnels. I caught the flipped shot, but I think it works, even though there’s a slight continuity error where Poe is bringing up the rear and then suddenly in front of the pack. I think I prefer it to Hal’s shuffling of scenes in this section.
Nice job extending Chewie’s death, although there’s a moment where I feel like the rescore and the original music are competing in the mix.
I would add the squeaky wheel scene from the doc.
I think the recut Force bond duel works well. I think you pretty seamlessly excised the heroics of Rey’s parents.
“I wanted you to see it. Who you are.” - I liked what you had in an earlier version: “I wanted you to see it. Your power.” To go along with that:
The hangar scene is close to perfection, love “I feel the pull to the light. You the darkness.”, love the brief flash-forward/vision. The only thing that doesn’t work for me is “your power”. Perhaps you can borrow something from my mockup and use “you don’t just have power. You have dark power.” https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kYcr_q8vZfmUBAkINFcC-tnqR7PMDRIl/view?usp=sharing.
I would also prefer Kylo just say “You will kill him” because “you will kill Palpatine” sounds like an obvious audio edit, and it’s already clear he’s talking about Palpatine.
I miss seeing the Ewoks when Rey and friends head to the moon of Endor.
I know you’re probably tired of hearing me talk about Hal’s edit in comparison to yours, but I miss Hal’s addition of the mystical Sith whispers as an alternative to the dagger becoming a magical protractor that just happens to line up with the Death Star wreckage.
Kylo’s line to Rey “the dark side is in our nature” doesn’t really jive with how he explained the Dyad. Could it be edited to “the dark side is in your nature”?
The Duel of the Fates cue works pretty well, although I prefer Hal’s more subtle implementation.
“Ben, come home.” Love it!
I wish the stuff about the Death Star superlasers on the Star Destroyers was cut. The destruction of Kijimi feels as pointless as it did in the theatrical version.
The cuts on Ahch-to are seamless. Nice job!
Can you cut the line about Holdo maneuvers? I feels like it’s uneccesarily overexplaining something that didn’t need to be explained in TLJ.
Nice job cutting around Rey Palpatine in the scenes on Exogol. I feel like reducing the number of scene changes helps here.
I really appreciated Rey having no response to “You’re weak, like your parents.” It really makes it seem like Palpatine is preying on her insecurities.
Kylo finding Vader’s TIE Advanced in the Death Star wreckage seems…convenient? Although I do like the symbolism.
“I’m no one” Something about the way this line is placed, mixed or acted doesn’t work for me in this context. “I’m all the Jedi” is cheesy but I think it works better with what we have.
I miss the full jonh ghost scene. Palpatine being bested by Rey deflecting the lightning on her own feels weird after he made quick work of Mace Windu when he tried the same strategy. I felt the ghosts lending their force energy made this moment a little more believable. I understand the desire to have Rey stand on her own two feet though.
I noticed a lot of stuttering when the fleet gathers before the “rising up” montage, presumably due to slowdown in post. I would bring in the Naboo shot if it meant preserving the original timing of the footage.
I noticed quite a bit of stuttering during the celebration scene too, although good job removing the weird Jannah and Lando moment.
End scene works well, although I’ve grown fond of the alternate take on “Rey Skywalker”. I wonder if “Just Rey” would even be more appropriate for this particular edit?