Shadow Island Mystery: The Last Christmas - 2010 - 5/10

Granddad summons his estranged family to his island home.
He’s dying, see? But instead of trying to make nice at the end, he is being a dick to the last.
There is a puzzle to solve. The winner gets all his money. Losers get jack.

Within five minutes, I’m asking, “Is this a Hallmark flick?” (These things are inconceivably popular.)
I am ignored. Undeterred, I carry on a personal running commentary.
“Grampa has that big ole house, and all the cabins? For what? For when?
“The island has a power line? Holiday lights everywhere! Who strung those?

“They better hide the booze, that daughter drinks like a fish.
“Whoa! Talk about a merry pair of … uh … festive ornaments.

“Hey, since when does Hallmark have mattress action and pole in the velvet?
“Isn’t there supposed to be a mystery?”
Early proto-Hallmark film, before they adopted a rigid formula of feisty heroines, sexless men, murder(s) and clues aplenty, the insufferable bland romance, comic relief characters.
None of that here. Yet despite the cleavage and bed romping, this is a holiday bore.