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Parody: Extended versions of classic SW scenes

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This could be fun. I'll start with the banquet scene on Cloud City:

Vader
We would be honored if you would join us

Lando
I had no choice, they arrived right before you did. I'm sorry.

Han
I'm sorry too.

The captured Rebels enter the dining hall and sit down at the table. Chewie sits next to Vader, while Han and Leia sit next to Boba Fett. Lando sits on Leia's other side.

Han
So, Darth, how do you eat with that mask on?

Vader
I'll show you.

A small compartment at the bottom of the mask opens. Vader begins to eat.

Han
Very nice.

Vader
Thank you. It's very practical.

Vader reaches for a plate with some kind of meat entre. An angry Chewbacca growls.

Vader
What do you want you disgusting ape?

Chewbacca
Raaahhhhh rahrhahahahahah rrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Vader
To bad, I got it first.

Han
Let him have it, it's not wise to upset a Wookie.

Vader
It's even dumber to upset a Sith lord.

Han
I see your point sir. Chewie, I suggest a new strategy, don't piss off the Sith.

Chewie
Raaahhhhhhh!!!!

Leia
Hey, stop it Lando!

Lando
Stop what?

Leia
Playing footsy with me under the table.

Han
Lando!!!

Lando
Sorry.

Suddenly Boba Fett takes off his mask and begins to eat.

Vader
Dude, you look just like the Clones. How cool is that? Hey, stormtroopers. Take off your masks.

the stormtroopers guarding the dining hall obey their master, revealing they all have the same look.

Han
I think I'm losing it.

Lando
Hey, Chewie, can you pass the salt?

Chewie
Raaaahhhhhhhh!

He violently throws the salt at Lando, barely missing his head.

Vader
Nice throw Wookie. The Emperor would love to have your services.

An angry Chewie grabs Vader by the throat. Within two seconds, Vader uses the force, escapes from Chewie's grasp and begins to force choke him for a few seconds.

Vader
Don't mess with the Master, Wookie.

He releases Chewie who then hisses at the Dark Lord. A few seconds later, Lando screams in pain, having just been kicked by Leia.

Leia
That's what you get for playing footsy with me.

Vader
This meal has gone far enough. Stormtroopers, please take these rebels away. One more minute and I'm going to get indigestion!!!

The stormtroopers lead the rebels out of the room.

Vader
Oy vey!
George Lucas was seduced by the dark side. The OOT ceased to exist in his mind and became the Special Editions...." "They're more maching now than movies. Twisted and evil."
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UPS guy arrives at Jabba's palace. Knocks on the door. A mechanic eye comes out.

UPS: "I've got a delivery for mr Jabba the Hutt, from uh... Mr. Bobby Fett. Uh, Bobba Fett."

*alien language - the door opens and Jabba's assistent comes out *

UPS: "Please sign here. Thank you."

* he signs and moves a huge flying box into the palace *

Jabba: (subtitle) "Ah, yes, the carbon frozen captain Solo has arrived! Open the box!"

* They do, and inside... there's a pinball machine *

Jabba: (subtitled) "What?!"

CUTS TO A BAR, IT'S CLOSED. TWO MEN LOOK AT A FROZEN HAN SOLO OVER AN OPENED CARDBOARD BOX.

Man 1: "So uh... is this the pinball machine you ordered for the bar?"

Man 2: "Oh well... We could use it as a table or something..."

CUTS TO RANCOR PIT, THE UPS GUY IS THERE

UPS: "Hey guys! C'mon! This isn't funny! Lemme out!"
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering