Your mock-up involves reusing a shot from earlier of Poe messing with switches. It’d either have to be reused or cut from the earlier scene.
You’re right, I put that shot of Poe in to connect the two scenes. My main reason for that is just to slow down the pacing.
Rather than having the same shot appear twice in the film, I would recommend removing it from the earlier sequence in the desert. Poe pulls a few levers in another shot so I don’t really see this particular shot as being required there.
There might be another shot in the behind the scenes video. I’ll take a look.
Perhaps the simplest fix would be to replace or remove the line, “I know where she’s going.”
If you’re suggesting to leave the Kylo Ren/Palpatine scene in its current location, then yes, removing that line would fix the continuity issue. That said, it wouldn’t improve the pacing of that sequence and it would remain as lightning fast as it is now.
Moving the scene to immediately after the shot of our heroes being followed allows you to use the scene as is, because the Knights of Ren do, in fact, know where they’re going. This allows Kylo Ren to tell Palpatine exactly this. Maybe another line can be plugged in but I think this change does work.
It just means you just have to cut the shot of Poe pushing the buttons while they’re in the desert.