I agree; the way your arranged them really fit what was there.
Perhaps a portion of the shot could be used only to cover the last part of the Poe shot where he says “every one we knock out is a world saved.” And leave the timing how it was.
Definately use the extended ILM shot adds so much with as small as it is. The only line I didn’t like was “We believe in you Poe” to be totally honest just doesn’t work, nothing against the person who recorded it just wasn’t right taste for scene imo. Think it would be better as something else or removed entirely, they kinda just shouted over music beat too.