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Post #1372602

Author
CMMAP
Parent topic
THE CLONE WARS SAGA (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1372602/action/topic#1372602
Date created
2-Sep-2020, 1:56 PM
Last modified
2-Sep-2020, 2:01 PM
Edited by
CMMAP
Reason for edit
None provided

I read over the crawls again and found two tittle things, I think are unnecessary:

Path of Padawan
„been causing many problems for the Jedi Order…“ - try it without „many“, doesn’t feel sw like.

Fate of the Republic
„The REPUBLIC is completely unaware…“ - same here, don’t use „completely“.

Both are an emphasis, that isn’t needed. It doesn’t add more tragic to the context. Simpler is better.

I appreciate your project, it’s a hell of work.