Sounds like a nice idea to sneak in Palpatine guiding Kylo, though the actual lines maybe should be quieter, or disguised between some sound effects (like the “ForceTime” or Sith whispers) to convey the feeling this is Palpatine actually speaking to Kylo’s mind, rather than a voiceover. The “Do it!” could also be placed closer to the music swell to fit better with the emotional crescendo.
Nice job!
Cheers, I’ll make those adjustments and have a new version up in a bit.