I like some of your ideas here. I’m interested in seeing your version of Vader’s no. I’m not sure why you’re removing Palpatine saying he’s weak though. He’s not actually (as shown when he immediately uses force lightning after Mace’s hand is chopped off), it’s his way of manipulating Anakin into helping him. Him appearing helpless is key in Anakin’s decision to stop Mace, as it’s against the Jedi way to kill an unarmed man. Mace’s hypocrisy to the code that has emotionally enslaved Anakin for years is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.