I really like it, especially in comparison to the first draft.
I like cutting Hux’s suicide, but it makes the lightsaber on display feel kind of like an unused Chekov’s gun. Maybe Finn could use it some time during the battle, maybe even in place of the Resistance flag, I dunno.
[Honestly, I never liked Hux’s story to begin with. Even if it doesn’t end in suicide, the idea that a person can desperately wish they could use the force but be completely unable to do so seems really at odds with the escapist nature of the series.]
A couple of other minor things:
- I know it was there in the first draft, too, but Rose’s dialogue during the interrogation seems pretty out of character. By the end of the Last Jedi, she was all about “not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” Even if Rose has become more battle-hardened since then, even if she’s being tortured, I feel like she should be appealing to what little common decency Hux has left, not insulting him for something he can’t control.
- There’s something off about how the Jedi speak to Rey in the world between worlds, and I think it has to do with the word choice. I can’t imagine Yoda saying “Co-exist” but that might just be because I haven’t heard it.
- I don’t know if it would make sense thematically, but I think it might be cool if, instead of “I can’t be who they need me to be” Rey said “I’m not the Jedi I should be” in a reference to Revenge of the Sith.