In my opinion the Mustafar sequence looks great, with the only shot that really sticks out being the troop carriers landing. I think if you cut that but kept the interior shot and the the shot of the troops disembarking it would look better. I also think this footage (pw: fanedit) from Movies Remastered could be used to extend the shot a bit so the transition from the troops to Kylo is smoother. I still think you should leave out the flying troops, but that extra second of the others charging into battle could help.