I think the maybe the overhead lava shot and the forest and eruption shot should go. The first one because it breaks the visual continuity between the establishing shots (TIEs over forest, then just lava, then forest again) and doesn’t add very much to the sequence itself.

And the second one doesn’t blend very well with the original film and Battlefront footage. The reason why the moment with the troopers looks a bit “fake” in hindsight is because the next lava shot is clearly a real location (unless some color-correction/filter is applied to it). If the Battlefront stuff led up right to Kylo Ren it would work better, because Kylo’s establishing character moment is shot in a very stylistic way, making the transition less jarring.

The Battlefront shots look pretty good and realistic on their own, though, so I think they should be kept.

Regarding to the music, I’d replace it with the unused portion of “Journey to Exegol” (that one with all the drums and stuff).