Wonderful! The balcony scene now feels much more natural. As you said, the original movie kind of wanted us to empathize with Anakin when he visits Padmé, but we can’t since we know he’s just slaughtered half the Jedi. This way Anakin feels like he’s struggling, still processing what’s he done and what he has been tasked to do. He does not seem like a psycopath anymore. And now, the murder of the children does not feel out of place because it works as a turning point. The redone youngling scene without music is harrowing!

It also helps that the next time where we would see Vader is Mustafar, where he seems like a completely different character: stoic, slow-speaking, piercing eyes, etc. That personality change doesn’t work that well when the emotional Padmé scene is sandwiched in between. Now he’s fresh off having killed the younglings.

You would have to cut 3PO mentioning Anakin’s return to the Temple, but I hope you keep Padmé breaking in tears at the sight of the Temple in flames. It works better know when Anakin had already told her about the Jedi’s supposed treason.