OK people, from an amateur stand up comedian as myself, here are some tips: never start a joke about disabilities or about people from other cities/states/countries if you don't know the audience, or if you are not prepared to answer back. If you know your audience, go ahead! Rule #2: Hitler has become a comic's secret weapon, if you mention Hitler in a bizarre situation, people will laugh ("have you ever imagine Hitler going to the bathroom, doing #2?"), use him when things are not going well. Rule #3, never tell them you are not funny, they'll belive you and not laugh. Rule #4, if you're bombing, leave at once, dropping the mic on the floor.