I’d actually argue that their connection until the Throne Room is much less problematic than either of the other part 2 romances in the Saga.
Can you elaborate on this? I kind of understand your point with Anakin and Padme, but is Han and Leia seriously worse than Reylo?
In totality, the Reylo dynamic is more toxic than Han/Leia, but they really run in opposite directions. Han/Leia starts out with a bit of earnest attraction in Star Wars, then devolves in Empire to a toxic relationship by two domineering personalities. By the end this is revealed as a mask for their genuine affection for each other.
Rey/Kylo stars out as toxic as they come, with Kylo wanting Rey for his power fantasy and Rey using Kylo’s power against him, taking it into herself and becoming his opposite. In TLJ this relationship is explored, and Rey believes that their connection means that they can be reconciled. However by the end the Yin/Yang of this relationship is revealed. Each is incomplete without the other, yet their values are also irreconcilable due to the nature of their power (darkness rises, and light to meet it). The implication is that neither can change without destroying the balance between them, and this forces them into a stalemate by the end of the film and Rey decisively rejects Kylo’s call to the darkness.
Of course TROS craps all over this nuanced view of their relationship by simply making them a ‘Dyad’, whatever that means. Kylo could always turn to the light without affecting their balance of power, apparently, which places the fault for their toxic relationship entirely at Kylo’s feet. So with TROS Reylo is definitely more toxic than Han/Leia, but I think there was potential in the final installment for an exploration of their relationship which would have lead to a satisfying synthesis of the Yin/Yang power dynamic while also not excusing Kylo’s genuinely bad behavior.
TL;DR: You’re right that Han/Leia was better but I like pretending that TROS was actually an entirely different and better movie.