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Revenge of the Sith (The New Canon Cut) [ON HOLD INDEFINITELY] — Page 19

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Awesome work! One thing doesn’t sit quiiiite right to me personally is Padme so readily agreeing with Anakin’s statement that she’s there to help kill him. So what if Anakin says “you brought him here to-” and Pabme cuts him off with “Because of what you’ve done”? Or just have “You’re with him! You brought him here!” as a complete statement, to which Padme responds.

Co-author of STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER - THE TEAM DALE REWRITE

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Sorry, new to this site, didn’t know this was the reply box lol.

Really enjoying what you’ve done with this whole edit! And it’s shaping to be my favorite version of the film so far!
I do share a couple of opinions and I’ll give that feedback here:

  • I think some of the laughing and added lines comes to a bit much in the opening sequence, the ones listed by someone earlier are the same ones I had issues with. I thought your choice to include the “General Skywalker” lines and add more banter was an excellent one!
  • The subtitles for the Wookiees seems a little out of place for me as well
  • I think the “and not be pushed around” from the balcony scene seems a little off and I felt the line continued longer than needed to. “Well he has to learn to defend himself somehow” works absolutely perfect by itself though! Loved that addition
  • In the “secret meeting” scene, I did prefer the one where Windu and Yoda just nod as opposed to the one with the alternate dialogue. It feels odd at times when a character is heard talking offscreen. It’s natural sometimes but feels awkward if the whole line is delivered offscreen. The flow was better for me with just the nodding
  • The only other comment I had was that in the final duel scene, I thought it’d be an interesting concept to try to combine the lines “Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan.” And immediately follow with “I did what I had to” and end it with “I do not fear the dark side as you do!”

Overall absolutely outstanding job so far! You’ve made my favorite character in this franchise an even better one and have fixed my biggest issues with ROTS, which was already one of my all-time favorites. I love the callbacks to TCW, the OT, all of your changes have made the movie better and I haven’t even seen a full cut of it yet!

If you have a full cut available I’d love to see it if you’d send me a link! Great job so far, I’d love to see the finished product!

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Having seen the most recent version for the edit all the way through, here are my thoughts:

Opening battle

  • some of the extra banter gets to be too much. Specific lines would be “that’s why we’re here” when he shoots the shields, “I agree” after Obi-Wan’s “never an elevator…” line, and Anakin’s “no!” When Obi-Wan gets knocked out are the ones that stick out for me. I think Anakin’s “who-ho-hooo!” should be heard with the comm distortion in it, otherwise I love the line. The rest is great and does a lot for their friendship, though
  • The scene where Palpatine says “leave him or we’ll never make it” should have a pause on Anakin’s face for the last shot before the transition in my opinion
  • When the fire ships say their line to Anakin, I don’t know if this line exists but he should reply with “copy” instead of “alright will do”, the “will do” seems redundant. Maybe “alright” would work well by itself, since he’d still be acknowledging it.
  • The “General Skywalker” from Padmé followed by the laughter is very nice and works perfectly, along with the new music you added

Kashyyyk - Anakin’s dream

  • the subtitles for the Wookiees feels out of place with the rest of the saga, I don’t think that shot is needed. Since there’s already a Republic presence, we can assume the Jedi have been contacted for reinforcements
  • I still think the “and not be pushed around” should be removed, the line works with just “well he’s gotta learn to stand up for himself somehow” by itself
  • The line where Palpatine says “you fought many battles…you saved my life” should to be just a tad louder to fight with the rest of his dialogue in the scene
  • Anakin’s “something’s happening” during his induction into the council seems a little awkward. The scene works without it for me
  • The addition of the “loyalist” scene is great, I always liked it, and it gives Padmé reason to actually acknowledge that to Anakin in her next scene with him
  • I really like the new order of the “spy on the Chancellor” scene between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Great job!
  • Can’t tell if you added the Emperor’s theme to Yoda, Obi-Wan and Mace’s convo on the gunship or if it was already there. Nevertheless, it’s better now with their previous scene in the temple together with new context
  • Your version of Padmé and Anakin talking about politics is much better than the theatrical, again great job!
  • The cut between Sidious’ hologram and Anakin’s first dream is great
    Anakin’s dream - Delegation 2000
  • I feel like replaying the dream just after seeing a quick shot of Palpatine feels a tad repetitive, I think you could cut straight to him waking up after seeing Palpatine’s face again
  • New cut of the “Plagueis” scene is great! Only thing I’d change is Anakin’s “we’ll be able to end this war” and Palpatine’s response could both be reverted to their original versions, it’s easy to tell that those lines are the second half of each line, and their mouths don’t quite sync up. If you can make it work I’m all for it though
  • I think the fade into black from the previously mentioned scene should be more gradual. I do prefer it to the original as it gives us (and Anakin) more time to process this
  • I think the conversation should stop between Anakin and Padmé should end after she says “you expect too much of yourself”
  • The incorporation of Anakin’s “aye” is a great one. Makes Anakin feel more included
  • Anakin’s theme is great in his farewell to Obi-Wan. My only comment is that the volume be turned down a hair so as not to undercut their conversation
  • Loved the incorporation of a little of Vader’s theme when we see Anakin in the darkness
  • Love seeing the conflict in Anakin in the “delegation of 2000” scene. Palpatine planting this seed of doubt in Anakin is great and Anakin refusing it makes it all the more powerful at the end of the movie

Anakin tells Padmé about his dream - Anakin’s Turn

  • new cut of Anakin and Padmé talking about the dream works great. I must say you’ve done an excellent job making their relationship more believable
  • I don’t know if you adjusted the audio on Grievous’ “Not Skywalker?” line, but it sounds much closer to ROTS Grievous and doesn’t stick out as much as I thought it would. A great addition nonetheless
  • Audio on “he’s more of a man than most” should be a little louder, it’s hard to make out what he’s saying
  • I like that you kept the hologram conversation in the war room to be that awesome TCW Easter egg that it was
  • As for the beginning of the Palpatine reveal scene, I don’t know where to cut, but I think Palpatine should do more of the talking there
  • Because of changes you’ve made earlier, Palpatine’s line about “being a pawn of the council” actually has context now. Great job with that! This scene if much better as a whole now as you’ve cut it
  • I’ve gotta say as much as the scene flows better, I do miss the “I AM the senate!” line lol
  • I like the way you cut together the rest of the duel! Works great!

Vader’s christening - Obi-Wan confronts Padmé

  • I love the way you cut this together, I like where you went with Anakin’s regret coming later. I do miss “What have I done?!” I think it could work honestly, almost as a “omg I just did that” but not a regret. It also works as an internal thought like you’ve displayed though
  • The only thing that gets me is Palpatine’s “is now an enemy of the republic”, the audio doesn’t quite line up with the mouth, idk if there’s any way you can alter that though. I do like the idea of cutting that line down, it just looks awkward
  • I think if you’re going with the TCW tie-ins, instead of Obi-Wan calling Cody “Commander”, is there a way you could have him say “Cody” to better tie in with their relationship in TCW?
  • I like the added dialogue for Plo Koon you added in Order 66. Idk if it was there before but I can hear it much better now
  • The new order of the Obi-Wan confronting Padmé scene is DAMN good. Great job!

Padmé confronts Anakin - Ending

  • I like most of the re-ordering of this scene, the scene is absolutely fantastic now, the deeper JAT line is much better than before, but I think instead of Anakin saying “don’t ask me to do that” I liked your original line better with the “if you’re not with me,”. And personally (not everybody might think this), but I don’t think Obi-Wan should say “I’m so sorry”, it conflicts with his stance here. He’s accepted that Anakin’s going to fight him, and him apologizing doesn’t really fit with that for me
  • I like that you cut Yoda and Palpatine’s duel down, keeps the focus more on Anakin vs Obi-Wan. Cutting out Yoda getting so obviously blindsided by the lightning was a great choice, always felt awkward in the original.
  • I actually preferred that previous cut you had of Obi-Wan wanting to help Anakin as opposed to this one. I liked in that other cut that Anakin only said “I HATE YOU!” after Obi-Wan went back up the slope
  • I do also feel like it would be fine if Obi-Wan just said “It’s over, Anakin!” and just that part of the line, and adding Anakin’s “don’t make me kill you!” Followed by Obi-Wan’s “don’t try it!” to keep that musical progression intact. I think it would work great if you could make it fit. That’s just my opinion though
  • I don’t know if I just had a problem downloading, but from Anakin being worked on through the mask coming on, the audio was waving up and down. Like I said, don’t know if that’s a problem on your end or mine, just what I heard when watching
  • The cut between “yes, master” and the following scene feels a bit awkward. Maybe a swipe would work better?
  • I LOVE that you added Yoda’s arrival to Dagobah back into the movie. I’ve always been a sucker for Yoda’s theme, and there’s not enough of that in this trilogy. That inclusion was great, ties up the movie a lot more nicely
  • I’m grateful you kept the original ending intact. It finishes the movie a lot more nicely than having it end with Vader’s breathing

All things considered, absolutely GREAT job in accomplishing what you have so far! I loved this edit so damn much. My nitpicks were all small things, but you really tied up the story a lot tighter/neater so you hit that nail right on the head, fantastic job on that, I’m very, very impressed. As I said, small, technical nitpicks with dialogue and such, but even as it is, this is my preferred version of the movie, I definitely want the link to the 1080p version when you are finished with the project! Cannot stress enough that you’ve done a phenomenal job, love what you’ve done so far and I hope my input gave you some ideas and/or help on certain decision.

I’m so excited for the end product! Thank you for making this edit! It’s the best ROTS I’ve ever seen

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NFBisms said:

Thank you, MuMu!


So I revisited the preduel Mustafar scene, but decided to go for every idea for it I felt might be too radical to be accomplished, and here’s the result:

ROUGH (like, more than usual) Anakin/Obi-Wan/Padme on Mustafar Clip

I, uh, don’t think it quite works. But I thought I should share it for the good of furthering the community’s collective thinking about how to edit the film.

I agree I don’t think that quite works. I really love what you had for the first half of the dialogue before Padmé was choked in the current full version, but as I said, the only part that didn’t sit quite right with me on the full viewing was the “don’t ask me to do that” and “I’m so sorry”. Just felt like Obi-Wan was ready to fight Anakin at that point. And instead using one of the older lines for Anakin with “if you’re not with me” with Obi-Wan’s last line before they fight being “I will do what I must.” Idk, to me that flows better. But the original first half of the scene was better with your prior revision, this one is ordered different and Anakin seeing Obi-Wan earlier doesn’t quite mesh with Anakin’s dialogue

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^Yeah, with that rough test, I was trying to balance my preferences/wishlist of the scene with some suggestions I’d gotten. After learning how to better get rid of the traces of the other audio channels in the center channel, I just went ham on “things I’ve always wanted to see.” But my ideal just isn’t that possible with the material at hand - short of VFX-skills I don’t have just to subtly tweak a mouth or facial expression.

Basically, the little nag I have about that scene in the edit - ever since RogueLeader first brought it up a few months ago - is that Padme’s “turn” against Anakin feels super sudden without his authoritarian motivations or youngling murder. With the material we have, one of the two characters would have to suffer for the scene to fully play smoothly. Sacrifice either Padme’s agency or sympathy for Anakin. As it is, I’m having my cake and eating it too.

In that newer radical test edit, I was going for Padme and Obi-Wan reach out to save Anakin together (Obi-Wan keeping his distance), but then once Padme realizes what Anakin wants to do, decides that she wants him dead instead. While that’s inferred in the current workprint anyway, these edits were meant to make that more explicit and Padme’s turn more smooth - all while trying to maintain Anakin’s integrity as a non-psychotic authoritarian. A balancing act that didn’t pay off but I think has some value as it shows how the theatrical lines can be rearranged.


Anyway, I had a whole post typed up in response to people’s feedback (of two different workprints at this point because I’m an animal with no export control) but my power went out and now those posts are all gone. 😦

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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Having watched the rogue cut before reading your last post, it felt a little strange watching Obi-Wan casually appear and do nothing for a while, though I guess it didn’t make much sense either way in the original with Obi-Wan waiting inside the ship until he decides to make his dramatic appearance. I can get used to it, though.

The dialogue seems fine for me, besides some, minor, technical stuff. Can you drop the first “and” in Anakin’s “and you and I could rule the galaxy…”?

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NFBisms said:

Thank you, MuMu!


So I revisited the preduel Mustafar scene, but decided to go for every idea for it I felt might be too radical to be accomplished, and here’s the result:

ROUGH (like, more than usual) Anakin/Obi-Wan/Padme on Mustafar Clip

I, uh, don’t think it quite works. But I thought I should share it for the good of furthering the community’s collective thinking about how to edit the film.

Rough or not I think the first half works really well.

Having both Padmé and Obi-Wan from the start is good, it allows for a less hostile start, more trust of Anakin, Obi-Wan letting Padmé have a crack at sorting Anakin out, and a less sudden jump to aggression. The addition of ‘no, Anakin. No’ is perfect.

The second half shows Obi-Wan as more reluctant to attack Anakin than Padmé was, and in return, Anakin talks with Obi-Wan for longer than he did Padmé. I like that.

Obi-Wan is stalling in this version, not to save Anakin, but to put off what ‘he’ has to do.

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I think you could make the new rough version work. I personally quite like it, and keeping Anakin’s explicit authoritarianism is helpful for Padme’s turn as long as you have no plans on having Obi-wan outright tell her earlier that Anakin killed other “jedi”.

In the workprint I have, Padme’s “yeah i brought him hear to kill you” reaction is great, but at this point the audience had not been privy to Padme hearing about or witnessing behavior from Anakin that she finds murderously objectionable. Even his short rant about ruling the galaxy with her, on the context of saving her life, goes a long way towards fixing it.

I think Obi-Wan visibly being there the whole time is great. Though I wish there was a way for the exchange about Obi-wan wanting to help/knowing about them to feel less clunky, cus Anakin already knows Obi-Wan knows and I know Padme just found out Obi-wan knew, but it still feels weird to me.

There’s a moment where Anakin looks up at Obi-Wan and he’s just standing there, it cuts back to Padme/Anakin and back to Obi-Wan who is now walking down the ramp, and I think it could help the visual flow if the first time Anakin looks up at him he is walking down the ramp.

And I’m in agreement with some of the other posters now, “I’m so sorry” feels weird where you have it. I wonder it might work after the fight?

My Edits:
Revenge of the Sith: Refocused Available

The Clone Wars Refocused: The Chosen One (Mortis Episode)

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So, i watched your wip of the cut and i must say, i really liked it.
Nevertheless i´ve got some suggestions for you, as i think there would be more immersion and secrecy:

  • Obi Wan, Anakin/Dooku - remove cuts to palpatine engaging to the fight (as in the original) — it is stupid in my opinion
  • Padme Anakin Scene “so happy, i love you” - cut anakins "no no, it´s because i am so in love with you "
    and therefore padme sentence after that — unnecessary
  • 1:03:03 cut — Anakin says to winduu “the chancellor is very powerful, you´ll need me to arrest him”
    –> too confident in my opinion
  • 1:04:15 — padme/anakin looking across replace score, because “oooh, ooooh” music feels out of place - my opinion
  • 1:05:51 do not cut palpatine do the twist and scream (feels clumsy and the scream is an acutal force
    power of the sith)
  • Palpatine talking to anakin after killing windu “a powerful sith you´ll become…” — change voice of
    palpatine? original one sounds very out of place. If it is possible.
    then cut “henceworth you should be known as darth vader” — therefore cut palpatine rescues anaking on
    mustafar, keeps the mystery of vader intact, audience would assume anakin died on mustafar or at least leaves a
    questionsmark. Also i think the surprise in rebels with ashoka and vader would be more powerful. Up to discussion is
    if the foreshadowing of clone wars s3e17 ruins it or adds nicely (personally i think it fits well, because it is
    a “placed” vision for the future, but don´t have to be true (only we as viewer of the OT know it already)
  • 1:16:35 cut original scene padme crying after c3po tells her about possible return of anakin to jedi
    temple — feels out of place.
  • 1:23:15 – cut palpatine saying darth vader
  • 1:25:07 – cut lord vader out of “welcome…we´ve been expecting you”
  • 1:29:10 – cut hologram of palpatine and anakin as well as the dialogue
  • 1:29:21 – cut after yoda said “consumed” or even at “gone he is”
  • 1:35:08/09 – cut after anakin and go in at 1:35:15 — acting of portman seems over the top
  • 1:38:05 – cut after palpatine says “you´ll not stop me” and come back in after “…either of us”
  • 1:45:33,5 – cut “i hate you!”
  • 1:46:15 – cut after “…i loved you”, insert “i hate you” therefore cut 1:46:16 till 1:46:16,5 – i think
    the impact is deeper if he said this line at this moment.
    –> maybe cut the whole “you were the chosen one…”? — but i´m not sure about that
  • 1:47:58 – cut the rest of mustafar and vader assemble (1:49:42) as metioned above. Come in again 1:49:00
    with every transition you seem fit
  • 1:51:00 – cut birth scene or at least the scenes where padme names her children
  • 1:55:28 – cut empire scene with vader, palpatine and death star, therefore we got Rogue One
    so 1:55:28 end of the movie.

Of course this is all up for discussion and just reflects my opinion

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CMMAP said:

  • 1:04:15 — padme/anakin looking across replace score, because “oooh, ooooh” music feels out of place - my opinion

Padme’s Ruminations is the best track in the film, though! It always reminds me of MGS4.

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sade1212 said:

CMMAP said:

  • 1:04:15 — padme/anakin looking across replace score, because “oooh, ooooh” music feels out of place - my opinion

Padme’s Ruminations is the best track in the film, though! It always reminds me of MGS4.

I knew it sounded familiar, but didn´t notice it was mgs4. It is a great track but i feel it doesn´t match with sw.

EDIT: i´m absolutley confused^^ Should listen more carefully to the soundtracks overall.

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CMMAP said:

I knew it sounded familiar, but didn´t notice it was mgs4. It is a great track but i feel it doesn´t match with sw.

No no, it’s not from MGS4, I was just saying it always reminds me of that. It’s Padme’s Ruminations by John Williams; it’s in the original movie.

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Yeah, I was about to say, some of the changes you (CMMAP) talk about aren’t even changes I made. Even still, a good chunk of the suggestions you have are within a philosophy for the film that I’m not quite aiming for: hiding a lot of important plot details for the sake of making reveals happen in chronologically later content. I personally don’t think it can be done effectively, and I think a lot of the film’s emotional weight relies on us knowing about Darth Vader and how it ties into the OT.

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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CMMAP said:
If it is possible.
then cut “henceworth you should be known as darth vader” — therefore cut palpatine rescues anaking on
mustafar, keeps the mystery of vader intact, audience would assume anakin died on mustafar or at least leaves a
questionsmark. Also i think the surprise in rebels with ashoka and vader would be more powerful. Up to discussion is

Whenever this is done in any PT edit it completely ruins the film. There is not a single life form on this planet of nearly 7 billion people who does not know Vader is Anakin. Not one.

The story of RotS is the fall of Anakin Skywalker. If he doesn’t become Vader at the end then he is not fallen enough. The emotional weight in ESB is Luke finding out who his father is, not the audience. And the tragedy of RotS is watching the hero of the Clone Wars fall as low as he does, not to trick the audience into pretending not to know something they already know.

Same with the Rebels connection. It’s Ahsoka who’s shocked by Vader, not the audience, and it would be impossible to manufacture any scenario whereby you could take the emotional weight out of RotS successfully just to serve as a punchline for a little watched show and a decades old film.

Same with Padmé naming her children. There’s also nobody on the planet who doesn’t already know Luke and Leia are twins, all you’re doing by removing that is removing the flow of the story to pretend to preserve a long dead idea of suspense.

It’s manufactured and pointless and worse, breaks up the flow of RotS.

CMMAP said:
1:55:28 – cut empire scene with vader, palpatine and death star, therefore we got Rogue One
so 1:55:28 end of the movie.>

Maybe mask out the Death Star, but even if it’s not, there’s no need to change this scene. There’s decades of experimentations that need to be done to the Genosion weapon before it reaches the stage seen in Rogue One.

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Yeah, trying to hide Anakin becoming Vader just doesn’t work in most edits, especially here. The Clone Wars makes his future no secret. Anytime Anakin does anything slightly bad, the Imperial March plays, and we see glimpses of Vader in the Mortis arc. This edit is fantastic as is, I think any future changes to it should just be small tweaks, refining what’s already there. I’d love a few more small references to Clone Wars characters, whether that’s Ahsoka, Rex, or Maul. But the edit is great as is, that would just be a nice bonus.

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I’d love a few more small references to Clone Wars characters, whether that’s Ahsoka, Rex, or Maul. But the edit is great as is, that would just be a nice bonus.

I was actually thinking about adding Appo’s arrow to the clone trooper talking to Organa when he visits the temple, but haven’t had the time or motivation to really do it yet. Mostly because that’s a really obscure reference, that’s already a reference in itself to Filoni’s time with Avatar: The Last Airbender. xP

This is outside of my resources, but it would also be sick if someone added Rex in a hologram to the meeting (just signing out) before Cody signs in to tell everyone about Obi-Wan engaging Grevious.

There was a point in time where I tried to have Anakin and Mace talking about Maul right before Cody in that scene as well, but it never worked enough to make it onto any workprint.

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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NFBisms said:

Yeah, I was about to say, some of the changes you (CMMAP) talk about aren’t even changes I made. Even still, a good chunk of the suggestions you have are within a philosophy for the film that I’m not quite aiming for: hiding a lot of important plot details for the sake of making reveals happen in chronologically later content. I personally don’t think it can be done effectively, and I think a lot of the film’s emotional weight relies on us knowing about Darth Vader and how it ties into the OT.

I can see were you all going with the fundemental idea. Fair enough. Your edit is really good NFBisms, maybe i just wanted a little bit too much and as someone said it is about the characters not the audience.

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Hi I really enjoyed your edit thanks very much it is great you improved anakin and made him more likeable also I’m just wondering if you or anyone has earlier versions of the edit also I’m just curious thanks

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Now that season 7 is out, do you think Padmé’s line to Anakin at the beginning about “there were rumors that you were killed” should be cut? We see them speak to each other while she’s visibly pregnant in the Bad Batch arc, and it’s established that their communication with each other is a regular thing. Rex even knows what to do without being asked, so it’s happened a lot. If they talk to each other that often, why would Padmé not know if he was dead or not? It’s a minor line, so it can be left in without taking anyone out of the movie, I was just wondering if you were planning to cut it.

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TK-422 said:

Now that season 7 is out, do you think Padmé’s line to Anakin at the beginning about “there were rumors that you were killed” should be cut? We see them speak to each other while she’s visibly pregnant in the Bad Batch arc, and it’s established that their communication with each other is a regular thing. Rex even knows what to do without being asked, so it’s happened a lot. If they talk to each other that often, why would Padmé not know if he was dead or not? It’s a minor line, so it can be left in without taking anyone out of the movie, I was just wondering if you were planning to cut it.

If it’s when they’re reunited after he reaches the capital it’s more likely she means rumours he was killed in the giant chaotic space battle directly above her head, not that he’s been killed in the Outer Rim Sieges.