LUKE: I can't understand how we got by those troopers. I
thought we were dead.
BEN: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded. You
will find it a powerful ally. Not to mention the fact that all of
the Stormtroopers are clones. They used to be pretty smart, but
they've gotten dumber in the past 20 years. They were once good
shots too, but not so much any more. I think it's because of the
fact the original source material for the clones was beheaded by a
great Jedi Master named Mace Windu 25 years ago in the first battle
of the Clone Wars. Your father and I were there. I thought I'd
mention him since he was a very important person in our galaxy's
history that you otherwise probably won't hear about.
LUKE: Do you really think we're going to find a pilot here that will
take us to the planet Alderaan, which the princess mentioned in her
holographic recording that Artoo played back for us in your hut?
BEN: Well, most of the best freighter pilots can be found here. Only
watch your step. This place can be a little rough. Stop. Think.
Take a deep breath. People go in here to hide, not to run.
LUKE: Yes master. I am ready for anything. I am trying.
THREEPIO (in annoying Guido-stereotype used car salesman voice, voiced
by Robert Dinero): 'Dis way, Artoo.
INTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- CANTINA.
The young adventurer and his two mechanical servants follow
Ben Kenobi into the smoke-filled cantina. The murky, moldy den
is filled with a startling array of weird and exotic alien
creatures and monsters at the long metallic bar. At first the
sight is horrifying. One-eyed, thousand-eyed, slimy, furry,
scaly, tentacled, and clawed creatures huddle over drinks. Ben
moves to an empty spot at the bar near a group of repulsive
but human scum. A huge, rough-looking Bartender stops Luke and
the robots.
BARTENDER: We don't serve their kind here!
Luke still recovering from the shock of seeing so many
outlandish creatures, doesn't quite catch the bartender's
drift.
LUKE: What do you mean when you say that?
BARTENDER: Your droids. They will have to wait outside. We don't want
them here. Droids have not been trusted on the outer rim territories
since the invasion of the battle droids on the outer rim planet of Naboo
about 35 years ago. I thought I'd mention that since it is a very
important part of our galaxy's history that nobody seems to discuss
these days.
Luke looks at old Ben, who is busy talking to one of the
Galactic pirates. He notices several of the gruesome creatures
along the bar are giving him a very unfriendly glare.
Luke pats Threepio on the shoulder.
LUKE: Why do you not wait out by the speeder. We do not want any
trouble while we are in here looking for a pilot who will take us to
the Princess' planet of Alderaan.
THREEPIO: You got it, boss.
Threepio and his stubby partner go outside and most of the
creatures at the bar go back to their drinks.
Ben is standing next to Chewbacca, the Wookiee that Yoda
knew back in Episode III, who is now apparently a mercenary.
Ben speaks to the Wookiee, pointing to Luke several times
during his conversation and the huge creature suddenly lets
out a horrifying laugh. Luke is more than a little bit
disconcerted and pretends not to hear the conversation between
Ben and the giant Wookiee.
Luke is terrified but tries not to show it. He quietly sips
his drink, looking over the crowd for a more sympathetic ear
or whatever.
A large, multiple-eyed Creature gives Luke a rough shove.
CREATURE: Wanna buy some death sticks?!?
The hideous freak is obviously drunk. Luke tries to ignore
the creature and turns back on his drink. A short, grubby
Human and an even smaller rodent-like beast join the
belligerent monstrosity.
HUMAN: You wouldn't buy his death sticks. So he doesn't like you.
LUKE: I'm sorry.
HUMAN: I don't like you either
The big creature is getting agitated and yells out some
unintelligible gibberish at the now rather nervous, young
adventurer.
HUMAN: (continued) Do not insult us. You just watch yourself. We are
wanted men. I have the death sentence in twelve systems.
LUKE: I will be careful than.
HUMAN: You will be dead. I am now going to pull out my gun and shoot
you.
The rodent lets out a loud grunt and everything at the bar
moves away. Luke tries to remain cool but it isn't easy. His
three adversaries ready their weapons. Old Ben moves in behind
Luke.
BEN: This little one isn't worth the effort. Come let me buy you
something...
A powerful blow from the unpleasant creature sends the
young would-be Jedi sailing across the room, crashing through
tables and breaking a large jug filled with a foul-looking
liquid. With a blood curdling shriek, the monster draws a
wicked chrome laser pistol from his belt and levels it at old
Ben. The bartender panics.
BARTENDER: Please refrain from using blasters in my establishment!
With astounding agility old Ben's lightsaber sparks to
life and in a flash an arm lies on the floor. The rodent is
cut in two and the giant multiple-eyed creature lies doubled,
cut from chin to groin. Ben carefully and precisely turns off
his lightsaber and replaces it on his utility belt. Luke,
shaking and totally amazed at the old man's abilities, attempts
to stand. The entire fight has lasted only a matter of seconds.
The cantina goes back to normal, although Ben is given a
respectable amount of room at the bar. Luke, rubbing his
bruised head, approaches the old man with new awe. Ben points
the the Wookiee.
BEN: This is Chewbacca. He's first-mate on a ship that might suit our
needs.
CHEWBACCA: Rarrrghh Rarrrghhhaaahhh Rowrrr!
LUKE: Ben, can you please translate what he is saying? I thought all races
in the galaxy spoke to each other in Galactic Standard Auberesh.
BEN: Nothing of consequence. He just noted that he fought with a great Jedi
Master named Yoda in the final battle of the Clone Wars. Yoda is was the
head of the Jedi Council, which was a governing body that oversaw all
aspects of Jedi life in the Old Republic. I was on that council as well.
Yoda taught the man who taught the man who taught me. Those other men are
dead now, but I thought I'd mention them since they are a very
important part of our galaxy's history that nobody seems to discuss
these days. Yoda's still alive too. But I'm not going to tell you about
all of that now. With the training I've undergone for the past 20 years
since you were born, I know I'll have plenty of time to get into that later.
LUKE: Thank you for your wisdom and insight, Master Kenobi. I pledge myself
to your teachings. Now let us find this pilot who will take us to Alderaan.
Perhaps one day the princess and I will meet and I will find her to be as
beautiful in person as I have found her to be in the holographic message
Artoo played for us.
BEN: I accept your pledge to be a Jedi. So you know, a Jedi shall not know
fear, nor anger ... nor love.
LUKE: Then I must not c