The info is not about Palps, it’s can be about rumors of a hidden Imperial fleet. Or whatever else. Do we ever really see any messages in Star Wars except for Leia’s original one? 😉
To me that scene has always felt like it has been there to establish Hux’s role in the film.
Opening with the secret message scene is very reminding of a James Bond opening where we see him on the end of a different mission
Maybe it could be the Fortnite message? Could play it at the Resistance meeting instead of Poe saying his “Somehow” line. Everyone can be shocked at the same time.
Anyways, I really like your mockup. During the vision sequence, I would take out Kylo’s helmet fondling and instead have the TLJ shot of him from behind on the Star Destroyer, and we don’t see his face. That way the true reveal of him for this movie is still on Mustafar.